| 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 |
| 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 | 26 | 27 | 28 | 29 | 30 | 31 | 32 | 33 | 34 | 35 | 36 | 37 | 38 |
| 39 | 40 | 41 | 42 | 43 | 44 | 45 | 46 | 47 | 48 | 49 | 50
Dear Zelda!
I cuss You cuss We all cuss For asparagus!
Orange Dae
----------
Dear Orange Dae,
Your skills at lyrics need some polishing, methinks.
Zelda
Dear Zelda,
The advice you've given me on my clock town inn has dramatically changed business! We get packed almost all year round now instead of just during the festival. I couldn't be more pleased! Everyone loves the curtains and the bathrooms you suggested! We've even had to build additional rooms to satisfy the customers. Myself and Kafei are overly joyed by this turn of events. He sends his greetings to Link as well for the help with the building and such. He is a great worker and he has a lot of get up and go I've noticed. How are things at the castle? I heard that You were constructing a mountain or something. Thank you so much though for all your support, Princess. And I hope to talk to you again.
Anju
----------
Dear Anju,
I'm so happy that you've come up on top of this whole situation. I knew the guests would come pouring at my wondrous design and good tastes! Maybe if business grows enough, you can set up a location here in Hyrule. I'll get Link right to work on that if those events ever turn up. *winks* As for business here, we're constructing roads on Death Mountain because the Gorons have complained of rocky roads. It's a wonder though because just as we finish a road, there's a land slide and it ruins almost a day's work. I think it's a useless cause, but my father insists. I guess it's just my job to sit, nod and look pretty.
And I guess it's my job to do the bidding of the princess at every turn of labor aye?
Zelda and Link
Dearest Zelda,
Help...pain...infinite agony...stalfos...big.
-Ganondorf
----------
Dear Ganondorf,
For some odd reason I'm finding this to be a trap so you can lure Link into some unforsaken land of doom.
You know, one would praise the fact that my villian is in danger and might die. Thus ending my crusades against him...*sighs* however, I'd be out of a job. I'm coming Ganondorf!!!
*sigh*
Zelda and Link
Dear Zelda:
Here's chapter 2. I hope you like it. The dudes names are fricking letters!!!!!!!!!!!
Chapter Two: Not a Fairy Tale
Slice. That was the last one. K had exterminated the last Leorro that had attacked them. It's blood oozed over the burning sands like a red trickle, slowly making it's way to mix with the other carcasses. K sheathed her sword. M was standing nearby. He had already killed several Leorro himself and was watching K. Leorro were fox-like lions. They hunted in packs, but were rather weak in comparison to TerraNova's other Nightmares. M and K are travelers, riding across the desert selling near useless junk at jacked up prices. They both carried katanas, but couldn't use them well. TerraNova is gigantic deserts infested with monsters, ruined cities from centuries gone by, and flame geysers as far as the eye could see. It had 2 suns, both revolving around the planet. It doesn't seem possible, but there are 2 suns. Only one of the many metropolises has survived for any amount of long time, and that is Titan City, the largest and most corrupt of any of them. However, none of this crap matters to our heroes, M and K. They were on their way to the oasis town of Zanga to sell some overpriced exotic jerky to it's inhabitants. Little did he know that this is where his journey begins. Upon arrival, the setting sun was already falling behind a mountain, and most of the city was in the coliseum watching the daily gladiatorial matches. M let his partner do the talking and left her to negotiate the deal, while he went to go find a hotel for the night. He went to the Singing Tiger Pub; they usually had good rooms with low prices. He walked in the door and saw 2 obviously drunken people trying to shoot each other with unloaded guns. The bartender was trying to get them to leave, but they were obstinate. "R get over here and throw out this here couple of losers!" Shouted the bartender. The tenacious barflies were beat beyond belief and left with a black eye and blood lip each. R was the pub's bouncer, but M didn't care. He walked up to the bartender. "Have an empty room?" Was all he said. "Yep, I got a couple, but it'll set you back 10 bactodd." He said. "Damn," M thought. "The currency keeps converting around here and I can't get it changed thanks to that stupid law the church set up." "I don't have any bactodd, but will you settle for some Gold?" M said. He always had some fake gold ready for a situation like this. He pulled out a nugget of a gold colored stone, but it certainly wasn't Gold. The Bartender was easily tricked. His eyes lit up at the sight of M's "treasure" and took him to the room. "Thank you, sir!" said the fool. M couldn't help but laugh when he was handed the keys. Now he just had to go find K. He went through the now populated streets. The matches were over, and everyone was going home for the night. He got to the market, and soon found K waiting for him. "We've got a room at the Singing Tiger. The guy there thinks I'm rich. I paid him with the "Gold" we had left." "Didn't I tell you not to do that any more?" K laughed. "If he finds out it's not real gold he'll kill us!" She whispered. "Relax, I've got it under control." M said. They were on their way to the room, but then a strange sound caught M's attention. He heard it again. It was a drunken man on the street. He was banging his sword on the ground and had an old mug trying to collect spare change from the by passers. When M and K walk past, he said, "Can you spare me some money? Any kind will do." M then accidentally stepped on the man's fingers. He took this as an insult. The drunken man stood up, and faced M. "What's the meaning of THIS foul scoundrel?!?" He said. "It was an accident, I swear." Said M. K stood back to watch this. "Stepping on a man's fingers while he's down on his luck! Have you no shame, you maggot!" Said the man. He drew his sword, but staggered a little from lack of balance. "All right, you asked for it." M said. He drew his Katana. "By the way, my name's T." Said the drunken man in his slurred voice. "I'm M." M said. It didn't matter what their names were, though. One of them could die in this fight. T swung his sword in a horizontal strike, but it missed by an inch. M ducked down and attempted to slice T's shoulder, but T blocked it. This was impressive swordsmanship for a drunk. The fight kept going in similar patterns of misses and dodges, until M made a strike on T's shin. T squealed in pain. "I give up! I give up!" He said. T collapsed on the floor, and dropped his sword. "Let's go." M said to K. "No I've got a question for him." K said. K walked up to T. "How did you get so good at fighting?" She asked. "It's a long story, so I hope you've got time!" T said with enthusiasm. "Thankfully, I do." K said.
I hope you liked it.
Saxophone
----------
Dear Saxophone,
Yet again, great writing skills...*contemplates* you know what I think you should do? You should attempt at writing a story about my glorious adventures with Link and Ganondorf so I can have my webmistress post it in the fanfiction section of my site. It's been lonely and subjectless for too long. Lovely writing though.
Zelda
Dear Zelda,
I CANT GET INTO MY OEKAKI BOARD!!!!!! T_T >:[ :( Well, I can, but its all messed up and crap. I miss it. ;_;And my journal is messed up too. Everything is messed up on my computer! It is so sad. Me be a sad MOO Monkey. A very sad Moo Monkey.
Pop is good. Very good. I got an A- on my L.A. paper that I did in 5 min right before it was my turn to present! And it was the highest grade of the class too. Hahahahaha!
I will now talk about random things. Zakk is an ass. He keeps saying that me and Chantelle are his "Womans". First, I am NOT going out with him, and two, NO one and I mean NO one owns me but me. If I do fall in love,(Witch I highly doubt) I may lend my heart to that person, but they sure as hell dont own me. Have you ever notices the little buttons at the top of you E-mail thing? They're interesting. I know two people who smoke pot. Have you ever gotten drunk with Link? Have you ever gotten drunk without Link? Have you ever gotten drunk wile nude and singing "Who Let The Dogs Out"? I haven't. Well, I've been slightly drunk, but never wile I was naked. How many books do you have? Do you like to read? I like to read. What you a monkey crossed with a chicken look like? I have four nests of baby birds in my back yard.
They are ugly but cute at the same time. Yes.
Love, Acco (The Kenshin Obsessed girl)
----------
Dear Orange Dae,
Yet again with the Oekaki board. I -really- need to get on the webmistress on that! She's so lazy, her head in the clouds about the visit she made to some man in Milwaukee...
[Webmistress note: Excuse me Zelda, but it was a fine visit. And I've been doing as much research as I can on that board! So when I find out coding for it, I'll add it for you! Sheebus.]
As I was saying, the webmistress is lazy and has her head in the clouds. As for getting drunk with Link, that's like asking for suicide. The man is bad enough as he is sober, let alone drunk off his kokiri boots.
I praise your thoughts on what you think about people owning you as well. You are right, people don't own you. If someone really loves you, they'll never look at you as an object of possession, unless you're Link. I -do- in fact own him.
You only do for a short time until my bet is over! Now what color did you want your guest bathroom walls to be? A baby blue? Or an eggshell white? I have those two colors.
Blue is always the way to go, can't have enough blue. *smiles*
I love to pick up a book and read it occasionally, but I don't fancy reading that much. Frankly, because I'd get too much into the book and have to put it down so many times due to my issues with Hyrule and ruling it. But if I do know that I'm not going anywhere for a while, I do tend to pick up a book and sift through it's pages. Also congratulations on housing baby birds, that's simply adorable.
Zelda Marth and Link
Dear Zelda,
know my name is messed up, but please ignore that. I want to know if you like cream cheese or butter on your bagels
SpanK The MonKey
----------
Dear SpanK The MonKey,
I would have to say that without a doubt I love cream cheese on my bagel. If I get really lucky, I can get the flavored kind! And my favorite would have to be the cheesecake flavor. That or strawberry.
Zelda
Dear Zelda:
Me again! Here's the next thrilling installment from T the gladiator's POV!
Chapter Three: The Saga of T
Well, this how it happened. I used to be the most powerful Gladiator this side of Serenia. I had it all. Fame, glory, riches, women, everything. Until today… Today I lost it all. I was scheduled to fight a guy named Magenta. The whole crowd seemed to be his fan. Before I went out to beat him, my boss walked up to me. "T, you've got to lose this one. I'll double your pay, and I promise Magenta won't kill you!" He said. "Why? I'm supposed to try to win!" I said. "The mob made a bet on Magenta's victory, and they'll kill me if you win. I'm sorry, I have to rig this." He said. I ignored him. I was already out on the field when he had finished speaking. The battle was a disaster. The crowd booed and hissed every time I hit him. Then I meant to hit his shoulder and try and disarm him, but I missed and sliced his head clean off. The crowd rioted, I lost my job, and my boss died. I've been living out here spending all my money on beer and food for two days. That is my story.
I hope you like this one too. I want to make a Zelda fanfic, but I'm not sure whether to send it to you or Sarah. Thanks for the compliment!
Saxophone
----------
Dear Saxophone,
Another lovely story you have written Saxophone. Have you ever considered being a writer? I read over the Zelda fan fics and they were great...well..kinda..I didn't see myself falling in love with my alter ego. But hey, everything's game in a fan fiction correct?
[Webmistress note: If you hae any fan fiction that has anything to do with the Legend of Zelda series, that would go to me. Any random story that you wish to post in the "Ask Zelda" Section would kindly go to Zelda.]
Zelda
Dear Zelda,
Ppl piss me off. Especially ppl who tell me I'm annoying when they them selfs are too. Well, SORRY for talking about a cherry pit I accidently ate because the stupid caned fruit are so cheap they don't take the pits too much ! What am I supposes to talk about then? And you know what!?! WELL SOMEONE, YOUR LACK OF SPELLING AND PUNCTUATION ARE ANNOYING ME!(...That was so hypocritical. I mean, I know my spelling isn't that great, but at lest I have the decency least try to use periods and question marks and commas and things like that. Unlike SOME ppl.)
Today has sucked. Zakk is a....meanie. Yes, hes mean. I won't say what is going though my right now. No.
Love, Acco (The Kenshin obsessed girl)
----------
Dear Acco,
Some people can be just cruel. I apologize that your day has seemed so horrid for you. I guess I could always say that this website is always welcoming your well...random statements. So feel free to state them here, Acco. By all means.
Zelda
Hi Zelda!
I was just in the neighboorhood and found this beutiful page.. I must really say that the Fan Art of you found on this page is really magnificent! Is is one of a kind I may say.. Tell your friend Sarah that she really is a talanted drawer and that I love to see more if her upcoming work.. =)
Sincerly // Zed from Sweden..
----------
Dear Zed,
Thank you for visiting the website. I was on google one day and decided to type "Sarah's page of Zelda" for fun and the site popped up! So that was rather thrilling for myself and the webmistress. I do say that her art skills in drawing my form have increased over the years. She's becoming quite talented in that field.
[Webmistress note: I honestly take the compliments to heart, Zed. Thank you for your support :)]
Zelda
Dear Zelda,
Ah! Need sugar.......Need to stay awake.....Need to write story......Need to get over God damn writers block........
Stupid questions for today:
What kind of trash bags do you use? Do you use hair gel? Whats you favorite kind of flower? Dog or Cat? Who is your daddy and what does he do?
Ah, the night is still young, for it is only 11:32! Back to work!
Love Acco (The Kenshin obsessed girl)
----------
Dear Acco,
I think your daily sugar intake is far more than enougy my friend with the emails you write me, but to answer your questions:
I use the Glad black trashbags. The ones that hold 30 gallons, they're HUGE! I occasionally use hair gel if I'm goin gto be travelling and want to look my best for any kings and queens I manage to meet. Other than that, no. I hate the way it makes my hair feel. I would have to say that my favorite is the daisy. Cat, obviously. My father is the king of Hyrule. And I would have to say that...he rules..Hyrule.
HAHAHAHAHA!!! I love that movie! Arnold so RULES!!!
Zelda and Link
Dear Zelda,
When will you get an oekaki board? Beth had one.
On another note, I'd like to say that the fanfiction section added to the site is really good. I hope more people write. If anyone hated it (I know some freak will) they can call me tastless, because from past expienience, I know that I am.
I only want to be known as the name written below.
Nobody
----------
Dear Nobody,
The webmistress has been hunting night and day for some way to do an Oekaki Board. But she's lost and obviously doesn't know what she's doing. If you have any information on this, I'm sure she'd greatly appreciate it.
On another note, I would have to say that I've enjoyed the fanfiction section as well. Such, interesting stories have arisen there. I hope to read many more.
Zelda
Dear Zelda!
I has returns from void an darkness of no typinginging! Me am liking new fanfiction for site! YOU AM HAVING HINDSIGHT? You am knowing what hindsight is?
Mao Tse-tung
----------
Dear Mao,
At last you have returned Mao! I was thinking you fell into a void itself and vanished off the face of the earth. I greatly appreciate your love for the new fanfiction site as well. The webmistress sends many thanks I'm sure.
On the topic of hindsight. Am I having hindsight on the fan fiction site? If so, I suppose I am. heh..heh...
[Webmistress note: Zelda, of course had to look up what hindsight meant at dictionary.com before answering your question.]
SILENCE!!!
Zelda
Dear Zelda!
HI ZELDA! I would like you to meet Kcco, my friend.
.....Hi.
She doesn't know what to say. Zakk has been messing with your head, hasn't he?
....Yes.
Why are you even going out with him?!?! Hes a fag, not to mention my enemy!
I don't know. Just because he asked me out, and I didn't want to hurt him. Are people going to tease me now?
Yes.
Damn.
Yes. So, Zelda did you know that....
TO DAY WAS THE LAST DAY OF SCHOOL!?!?!?! (Hehe, its a question! So you HAVE to post this! YES!)
We're having a minuter party, so we better go.
Bye.
Love, Acco(The Kenshin obsessed girl) and, Kcco(Friend of Acco)
----------
Dear Acco and Kcco,
Glad to meet you Kcco. And I didn't realize it was the last day of school. Dreary me, let me lock my doors.
Zelda
Dear Zelda!
This is my own lyrics to a cool song that I can't remember the name of by Blink182!!! I don't own the song!
It's Christmas Eve and I've only got two fucking presents! It's Christmas Eve and I've only got two fucking presents! It's Christmas Eve and I've only got two fucking presents! And I really really really really really really HATE you! And I really really really really really really HATE you! So I'll never talk to you again! No, I'll never talk to you again!
It's April fool's and I've got nine fucking wedgies! It's April fool's and I've got nine fucking wedgies! It's April fool's and I've got nine fucking wedgies! And I really really really really really really HATE you! And I really really really really really really HATE you! So I'll never talk to you again! No, I'll never talk to you again!
It's Labor Day and I've only had four fucking Hot dogs! It's Labor Day and I've only had four fucking Hot dogs! It's Labor Day and I've only had four fucking Hot dogs! And I really really really really really really HATE you! And I really really really really really really HATE you! So I'll never talk to you again! No, I'll never talk to you again!
It's Thanksgiving and my dog ate the fucking turkey! It's Thanksgiving and my dog ate the fucking turkey! It's Thanksgiving and my dog ate the fucking turkey! And I really really really really really really HATE you! And I really really really really really really HATE you! So I'll never talk to you again! No, I'll never talk to you again!
It's Christmas Eve and I've only got two fucking presents! It's Christmas Eve and I've only got two fucking presents! It's Christmas Eve and I've only got two fucking presents! And I really really really really really really HATE you! And I really really really really really really HATE you! So I'll never talk to you again! No, I'll never talk to you again!
Do my Lyrical skills need improvement NOW?!?
Orange Dae
----------
Dear Orange Dae,
No, but I do think you have some subliminal message that you really dislike me. Lovely music.
Zelda
| 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 |
| 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 | 26 | 27 | 28 | 29 | 30 | 31 | 32 | 33 | 34 | 35 | 36 | 37 | 38 |
| 39 | 40 | 41 | 42 | 43 | 44 | 45 | 46 | 47 | 48 | 49 | 50
