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Dear Zelda,
That wasn't rain last night. That was my birth. How many drops did that kid catch on her tongue?
Spawn of the mass urination of many birds (SMUMB)
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Dear SMUMB,
...
I don't even have a response for this. I just merely answered to give you children a Princess eye view of some of the emails I receive.
Zelda
Dear Zelda,
When you need to relax, where do you go? Is it in the castle? Or is it out in the field? I know where it is, it's that's place where you feel that presence of someone watching you. I know exactly where it is.. Muy Hai..
Sincerely, Kit-- I mean '???'
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Dear annonymous,
...
I generally go to the garden when I need time to relax. But I guess it would also count as a place to where someone would watch me. I mean somehow SOMEWAY Link manages to find his way into my garden. I swear I've boarded up that hold that he crawls in dozens of times. Guy must be a magician.
I'm gonna steal this guy's words..."mui hai..."
Zelda and Link
Dear Zelda,
am i hot?
6 frisky dear
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Dear 6 frisky dear,
...
Is that you Link?! I swear if you're pranking me again in my emails, I'll call the webmistress on you!
Zelda
Dear Zelda,
I am Cookie Kwan! I can sell you a house on the west side! If you are a rival Realtor: STAY OFF WEST SIDE!
Cookie Kwan
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Dear Cookie Kwan,
...
You're telling me that you want me to live on the west side, but you just SAID not to. You people are confusing!
Zelda
Dear Zelda,
For some reason you got the castle all locked up and I can't seem to find a way to contact you other than here. I left my other boots at your castle when they got all muddy from the rain. I was just gonna stop by and get them, but you've boarded up my crawl space! I would appreciate you like..giving me a pass to the castle or something. You'd think being the Hero of time, they'd let me go in and out of the castle as I please. Pesky guards. I think they're jealous cause THEY'RE not the Hero of time! Anywho..I left my muddy boots at your castle entrance. Judging by that squirly looking new servant you got, they're probably spit-shined and cleaned to perfection. Dude hates to see any kind of dirt. So can you kindly set up some kind of system for me so I could visit without having to be sneaky?!
Sincerely, Link
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Dear Link,
...
Yes I finally boarded up your entrance into my castle! You sneaky devil! I need time alone too, you know. I don't go barging into your house and kick back my muddy high heels and such. Anyway, yes the servent did clean your boots, after muttering to himself for a good hour or two. Apparently that wasn't just mud on the boots. *sighs* But yes, I'll set up a pass for you. I hope this isn't a cheap attempt to get my autograph. Because you could just -ask- you know. I'm sorry that the gate guard are so mean with you, but they're been ordered to be that way with anyone. You never know when Ganondorf may take some evil turn and know how to shape shift. He'd take our forms so fast and take over the castle. Must take precautions you know.
Zelda
Dear Zelda,
Did YOU steal the cookies from the cookie jar?
Orange Dae
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Dear Orange Dae,
I have no need for your rotten cookies! If I wanted some cookies, I'd ask a cook right away!
Not like she needs any cookies anyway. Princess, you've been falling rather hard lately during our matches on stage.
...
Listen here, Roy. If you're going to do so much as to barge into my site and make comments. At least be KIND with them! You're lucky you have fans, or you wouldn't even have a page.
Zelda and Roy
Dear Zelda,
One, two, Freddy's coming for you. Three, four, better lock your door. Five, Six, get a crucifix. Seven, eight, it's already too late. Nine, ten, you'll never sleep again.
??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
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Dear Strange and frightening person,
It appears this man has found my greatest fear....Just WHO are you! I demand you come forward and tell me your identity! If you think this is a joke, you are sadly mistaken! DARE you frighten the Princess of Hyrule!
Zelda
Dear Zelda,
What are you wearing?
Nobody
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Dear Nobody,
Well you're certainly NOBODY that I'd tell something like that to! HAHAHAHAHA!!!
...
That was so not funny...
Zelda and Link
Dear Zelda,
Donkey monkeys! Donkey butt am monkeys and am monkey's head and wing. What is first thing you am buying at am walgreens when you enteringing? What you want pretty kitty? Great, now me am talking at lumpy cat! Squeaky frog! Me am going to feeding cat now. Man hit by football. NOT THE GROIN!!!
Mao Tse-tung
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Dear Mao,
I would have to say that the first thing I spot at a walgreens would generally be the make-up counter. I mean c'mon now, they have it -right- there. Like I need any extra make-up to perfect my beauty, I still do like to see the latest products. Those everlasting lipsticks are a lifesaver let me tell you.
Zelda
Dear Zelda,
Microsoft word is messed up on my computer, so I can't talk much today. What's your favorite song?
Orange Dae
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Dear Orange Dae,
Favorite song. I guess it really depends on what mood I'm in. I might go for a relaxing strum on the zora's guitar. Or maybe a melodius tune on the harp if I'm feeling artistic. My lullaby is an all-time fave. I mean what better soothing melody than your own lullaby? Other than that, I'd have to stick with Darunia in loving "Saria's song" I mean it's just so upbeat and happy.
Zelda
Dear Zelda,
BEEF-POT STEW!?!O.O HAIR IN THE PLIERS!?! O.O THERES A SNAKE IN MY BOOTS!?!?! O.O What'c ya'll doing in these here parts? I LIVE IN COLORADO! YAY HAPPY for me. I'm not going to say were in Colorado, cause then a bunch of freaky-deaky ppl would try to stalk me, and thats not a good thing. Hehe, freaky-deaky. NOW THATS FUNNY!!! Heres a song I heard. You sing it to "Row, Row, Row, your boat".
Roll, Roll, Roll the weed, Pick out the stems and roots! Light it up and take a puff, The world can screw itself!
Is that not like, the coolest song EVER?!?!?!?! Yes, it is. :)
I use to be able to make a dancing Kirby thing. But I forgot how. I try though.
<(('.'))> No. <(('.'(<) No. <(('.'<))....My God! I think I remembered! Excepted I think it had feet. Oh well. Here is Dancing Kirby thing by Acco.
<(('.'<)) ((>'.'))> <(('.'<)) ((>'.'))> <((^.^))>
YES! IT LIVES! IT LIVES! AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHZHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHH!
I'm very sorry, but I really do not have a lot of time deary, so I'll give you my questions and then I must be leaving!
1.Do you have any idea how to get wine out if silk? One of my newer servants tripped and spilled wine all over my new silk dress! 2. What color is your wedding gown going to be? 3. KEYBOARD, KEYBOARD, EVERYONE LOVES THE KEYBOARD? 4. You love those damn potatoes more than you love me, don't you!?!? 5. What does outsource mean?
Love, Acco(Then Kenshin obsessed girl)
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Dear Acco,
I took a trip to Colorado once. Visited the springs and everything. it was quite a relaxing trip. I do miss those mountains. They were very majestic. And the weird thing about them is, you could always tell what the weather was going to be like the next day, JUST by looking at those mountains. It was quite the weatherman.
I don't know how I feel about that song, it appears you're entirely too young to be singing songs about marajuana.
And in order to your questions that you have asked: 1. I would have to say take the dress to the cleaners. I myself don't know how to get wine out of silk, though I have had the problem many times. 2. I plan for my wedding gown to be the traditional white. I mean what wedding gown isn't? Unless you're pregnant and such, then it should be blue. I have a picture of a gown that I was looking at for my wedding, if it ever happens, mind you. 3. I like my keyboard, I don't know if I love it though. 4. I don't believe I love potatoes more than one of my top fans now would I? ^_^ 5. out·source- To send out (work, for example) to an outside provider or manufacturer in order to cut costs.
Zelda
I know where you are. I can see you webmistress.. I can see you!
Zelda, I command you that you give me all the gold in Hyrule or I'll cut you.
Not even Link, Ganondorf, Marth, or Roy can help you. Buwhahahahahahahaha.
Here's my question for you, will you willingly give up the castle!?
!!UNKNOWN!!
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Dear unknown,
Dare you threaten the castle like this! And NO I will not willingly give up the castle! What do you take me as?!
Damn...if he/she hadn't mentioned Ganondorf in their email, I would ALMOST suspect this being the work of none other than GANONDORF himself!
You're only kidding yourself, Link. I wouldn't be so forward and nice with a threat. Besides, the guy asked if he could have the castle. When have I ever asked?! Peons, all of you.
He has a point there.
I swear, Link always blames Ganondorf on everything. You never could think a kingdom would create other enemies as well? C'mon Link.
No...but I know that Ganondorf probably PAID them to be an enemy!!
...
Zelda Marth Ganondorf and Link
Dear Zelda,
You don't take my threats seriously do you!? Instead you send the dynamic trio of dorks after me!
Well Aside from Link and Marth's relationship with Roy, Ganondorf is the only REAL concern there.
Be warned though, by the next moon I will have your castle! The question is now, what do you want with this shipment of Octoroks?
!!KNOWN!!
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Dear Known,
I can't help it if the "trio of dorks" decide to post in my answers. They just sift in and out of it at times.
TRIO OF DORKS?! You have waged WAR upon the Hylian warrior! By Din let me find you in a dark ally punk!
...
As I said, they tend to post at their own will and I cannot really control them. On the Octoroks comment, I'm starting to have suspicions...that or realizing that Ganondorf has split personalities.
Zelda
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