| 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 |
| 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 | 26 | 27 | 28 | 29 | 30 | 31 | 32 | 33 | 34 | 35 | 36 | 37 | 38 |
| 39 | 40 | 41 | 42 | 43 | 44 | 45 | 46 | 47 | 48 | 49 | 50
Dear Zelda and Marth,
HA! I have bribed both your fathers, so now you MUST get married. AHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!
......Ok, you got me. I'm broke. I have no money. I live in a box with a crappy computer. I have no food. The doctors say I'm going to die if I don't get some more sugar in me ASAP. May I barrow $1,000, or at least a little sugar?
*Cough* Its...so cold*Cough*...Its getting*Cough Cough* darker...I...*Cough* see...a...light........
Dear Zelda, Marth, Link, Roy, Ganondorf, and everyone else,
Acco's Funeral will be held at 12:00 at the family grave, located at 145 Vally Estates. There will not be a wake, but there will be food. Please bring flowers. Sincerely, Random person who was hired to give out the invitations.
----------
Dear Acco,
It's amazing how she dies from such little sugar. I mean that's the one thing I used to deprive her of...*cries* It's my fault! It has to be! I used to hide the sugar jar from you all the time!!
I remember how we used to play checkers together...and she beat me..12 times in a row! *cries with Zelda*
And and..the way she always said that me and Marth should be boyfriend and girlfriend!! *cries more*
And the way I used to laugh about it, even though I probably do love you!! *cries with the both of them*
...
...
Zelda Marth and Link
Dear Zelda,
How many nachos have you eaten today?
Love, The Tentacle
----------
Dear the tentacle,
The tentacle..that sounds like a super hero's name or something. I don't particularly like nachos. Mostly because Darunia makes 'em for me, and he makes them flaming hot! Maybe if I had milder sauce?
Zelda
Dear Zelda,
I'm back from the dead to ask you one question: Why don't the Gorons wear clothes? Sheesh, put some shorts on, Darunia!
Elvis Presley
----------
Dear Elvis,
Wow I even have old rockstars from the dead visiting my site. This is pretty cool! I don't exactly know why the Gorons have chosen to become nudists. They kinda arn't though, some wear loins, others don't. I don't particularly know why. Maybe they're confident in their nudity? I did, however make it manditory that they wore clothes around me during construction of their highway though. Mostly because some things are left to be -unseen-.
Zelda
Dear Zelda,
Ever put salt on a slug? Try it! It's phun!
Yamatoman
----------
Dear Yamatoman,
When I was a child, salting snails was one of our favorite pastimes! I mean I used to have Link dig for the snails, and I'd have the salt shaker ready. Omg the fun times we had with that! Those poor little snails! HAHAHAHAHA Ruto used to get SOO mad at us too. "Those are water living creatures too! Damn you Zelda!"
Zelda
Dear Zelda,
I invite you to a formal ball with every ruler of your land. Keep in mind, though, you can't eat calamari (We are squid, you know), or bring that stuck up bitch, Ruto. We will be holding the ball on the beach, and in my house. Don't eat the Caviar. Those are my babies. Respect the Squid! They're our guests too.
Aboshan and Llawan, Cephilid Emperor and Empress
----------
Dear Aboshan and Llawan,
Oh I know exactly what it's like around seafood, I mean around sea creatures. I dare not touch a soul, yes I know that Ruto is stuck-up. But she has good reason behind her abusive ways to people who harm the creatures of the sea. I'm sure I'd be the same way with Hylians. But people normally don't...eat them. I would gladly love to attend your ball though. Do you mind if I bring Link or Marth? I'm sure they'd love to visit as well. Link needs a vacation afterall and well Marth needs...classes in having manners. Surely a ball would aid him.
Zelda
Dear Zel-- Ah screw it I'll just get to the point!
I WANT MY 2 DOLLARS!!!
The Irish Setter
----------
Dear Irish setter,
I thought you were just GIVING ME 2 dollars! I mean c'mon now. How am I supposed to pay back a DOG?! What use to you have for two dollars anyway?! Buying kibble?!
Zelda
Dear Zelda,
You stole my eyepatch, didn't you?
Orange Dae
----------
Dear Orange Dae,
You had an eyepatch?
Zelda
Mama? Papa?
A young child
----------
Dear young child,
Dreary me, another ophan. Someone hop to this? Where is Saria when I need her?!
Oh dear, what have I done. Man I know I was drunk..but not THAT drunk!
Zelda and Link
Dear Zelda,
I think you're getting a bit more pompous than when you started this site. What happened?
Miss Babycakes
----------
Dear Babycakes,
I don't believe I've become more pompous with myself on this site. I believe it's always been there, I've just been more comfortable to flaunt it. I mean I know I'm full of myself at times, but I'm also royalty. How can I help but not be?!
Boy you got that right, she's so full of herself..thinking she's Din herself or something. Someone please help me from this crazy being!
Zelda and Link
Dear Link,
Take the blue pill! I think it's Viagra!
Agent Smith
----------
Dear Agent Smith,
HAHAHAHA! You must think I'm a real idiot, Smith. I mean c'mon now, you didn't think I'd catch onto your game?! You think you can fool the great HERO OF TIME?! BUAHAHAHAHA! You must be really really DUMB to think I need Viagra! HAHAHAHA! What a reject!
Link
...
Dear Zelda,
Ho ho ho! Helo little girl, and what do you want for Christmas this year?
Santa Clause
PS I want low fat cookies this time. The other ones give me gas.
----------
Dear Santa Clause,
wow, from Elvis to Santa. I must be getting rather popular. I'll make sure to make low-fat cookies this year. It's a good thing that you're starting to watch your weight. I do say though that your reindeer are getting quite the workout come Christmas time. I mean they're so buff! You've trained them well into dragging you around. Now what do I want for Christmas. I would have to say that I want Hyrule to be in peace for one. But we all know that even the great Santa can't bring that to me. Unless you really really bribed Ganondorf well.
Zelda
Dear Malon,
You're not going out looking like THAT young lady!
Mama
----------
Dear Mama,
Sometimes getting someone else's mail is really a joy to me. I mean especially cases like this. This is absolute PROOF of Malon's lifestyle! IN THE FLESH FOLKS! HAHAHAHAHA!!
Man, she always tries to find -some- way to really diss that farm girl. I think they're secretly best friends
Zelda and Link
Dear Zelda,
You left your diary by the bottomless well. You should keep better track of your things. Well I am your nanny and my job is to help you keep track of them. You are becoming such a great ruler now! To think you just got out of diapers a few years ago!
Love, Impa
----------
Dear Impa,
Bah..do you really have to say such embarassing things?! I'm at my website for Din's sake! Keep that stuff private! Geeze!! *blushes*
That was ZELDA'S diary?!
Zelda and Roy
Dear Zelda,
Have you found any Metroids in the area lately? What about Phazon deposits? How'd you like to be in another fighting game? If you say yes, I'll give you more details later.
Mother Brain
----------
Dear Mother Brain,
Sure I'd LOVE to be in another fighting game! I mean why not?! I love kicking the crap out of everyone and proving that I'm the best there is to be! Sign me up!
I still get to fight even though I've never seen any metroids...right?
Zelda
Dear Zelda,
Do you know what kind of bird I am?
Yellow Bellied Sapsucker
----------
Dear yellow bellied sapsucker,
Well obviously since you state your name -in- the letter to me as to what you are. It's quite obvious that you're a yellow bellied sap-
DUCKY!!! And why do you have to call it yellow bellied? What did it ever do to you?! CRUEL HEARTLESS THING! *snuggles the ducky*
...
Zelda and Link
Ayo Marf!
Marf, Zelda, can I haff some coffee please?
Ultima Jr.
----------
Dear Ultima Jr.,
A round of coffee..with some hooked on phonix.
Marth
| 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 |
| 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 | 26 | 27 | 28 | 29 | 30 | 31 | 32 | 33 | 34 | 35 | 36 | 37 | 38 |
| 39 | 40 | 41 | 42 | 43 | 44 | 45 | 46 | 47 | 48 | 49 | 50
