Dare ye ask Zelda...

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Dear Zelda,

What's your favorite Color? Do you make up these posts and beg people to ask you questions? Do you love me?

Secret Admirer

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Dear Admirer,

A secret admirer...this is my first. Well to answer your questions: My favorite color is pink, Yes I do beg people to ask me questions...it makes for an interesting read. And no, I don't love you. I don't even know who you are! I need to get the webmistress to screen my questions...*sighs*

Zelda

Dear Zelda,

What are your interests?

Interested

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Dear Interested,

Is this another admirer? If so, this isn't a dating service. However, my interests...I'd have to say that I do enjoy walks on the beaches of Lake Hylia and riding my royal steed around the countryside. I also enjoy a bit of archery, Link has been giving me lessons in it. He says I'm a pro. *flips hair* However if it's another cheap trick of his to date me, he's sadly failing. I also enjoy to do sketching from time to time of some of the townsfolk and servants. I don't really have much time for all my interests sadly enough. Helping my senile father run a country isn't exactly a 9 to 5 type job. It's more of a commitment.

Zelda

Dear Zelda,

I know you're not the brightest woman ever..but you are supposed to represent WISDOM...why must you always get captured. Im sure link must get tired of saving you, I know I am..and to boot..you dont even put out for him WHEN he does infact save you..I think next time link should leave you there untill he gets more appreciation.

Sincerely,
Yo Lovuh

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Dear Yo Lovuh,

I believe I have answered this question numerous times. I guess I know how Marth feels now when people ask him why he wears a tiara...*sighs* But I'll answer this question once again. I get captured to keep the game going. That's the whole plot of the game. If I don't get captured, what else is Link supposed to do? Go shooting Octoroks around Zora's Domain? There are many reasons as to me not "putting out" To Link as well. For one I don't find him sexually attractive, spandex or not. And for another, he doesn't seem to have interests in me when he does save me. I mean countless times I've wanted to thank him with a kiss, but he merely turns his head away. Either he's shy or he has interests elsewhere...And if it's for that FARM GIRL I swe- *ahems* I don't think he gets tired of saving me really. He asks me to hide myself throughout the castle at times so he can "practice" finding me. I'll hide under the bed and he'll look around. Maybe he's just a hide and go seek addict...

Zelda

Dear Zelda,

Where'd you hide your rack while you were disguised as Shiek?

Sincerely,
Adrian

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Dear Adrian,

That's a good question. Because most think I actually changed into a male when I made my transformation to Shiek. That is not the case however. I did what most girls insecure about their breast size would do. I used tons and tons of wrapping and tape. I had to have Impa help me however, so I could obtain that manly sculpted chest. And I do say that it did really help disguise my sex. Link was even fooled that I was a guy. I think that's the only time he's ever really hit on me -_-

Zelda

Dear Zelda,

So are you trying to say link is gay? I dont think that would be promotiong the game really..I had a interesting phone call with link..about the hide and go seek. He said it turned him on when he would find you in such places and that he would try to seduce you with lude sexual motions, but you didnt take the hint. Now Zelda..common..the guy is trying..all the times he has saved you (captured purposely or not)..dont you think you owe him at least one night of gratitude..I mean link makes the game, you may get cought but he has to save you. Its a give and take relationship really..now its time for you to give him some. However..link did say he was slightly shy..so you might have to make the first move.

Sincerely,
Yo Lovuh

PS: After our conversation link has been trying to find other pants that he likes..and I tell him the spandex just isnt working with you..but he doesnt believe me

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Dear Yo Lovuh,

You again? I thought I answered enough questions for you! No I'm not saying that our hero of time is gay. (though he may be bisexual..I don't know..) I'm starting to think this is another sick and twisted joke. Is that you Link?! I think you're trying to question what I feel about you cause you don't have the balls to confront me face to face about it! No we never got into places where he'd try to seduce me. Link is a rather shy person when it comes to such subject matter. He's quiet most of the time anyway. I think I've heard him actually speak a full sentence five times in my whole existance of knowing the man. Now whoever this is, needs to stop! I'm going to have Sarah screen these questions a bit deeper next time! *grunts*

Zelda

Dear Zelda,

Where did you learn your magic abilities?

Marth

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Dear Marth,

It's about time you found your way to my website. I guess since I posted so much there it was time for you to repay the same favor eh? Now to your question...I learned magic from the professor at the Lake Laboratory. Don't ask me WHY I went to him. My father has suggested many wizards and warlocks to learn my magic from, but they always seemed so dark and mysterious. The man at Lake Hylia is actually quite a generous and caring old man. He almost reminds me of my grandfather. But he did teach me of my array of magic tricks. Though I do say that learning my Din's fire attack was the hardest. We've had to rebuild his laboratory countless times when I'd accidently set it on fire.

Zelda

Dear Zelda,

What the fuck do you see in Link?! I don't get it!

Cyrax

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Dear Cyrax,

Why does everyone think that me and Link are an item? Sure he's always saving me and that's what generally happens in every game plot. But it's not in THIS ONE! I think everyone just wants to see me run off and get married. You've all turned into my father! Go away!! *runs away screaming*

Zelda

Dear Zelda,

What's Link's reward for saving Hyrule?

Gandalf

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Dear Gandalf,

Suddenly I get captured and he deserves some ultimate reward for it? I mean whatever happened to him being the Hero of Time and that being his duty? He generally does get a reward though. 100 rupees if I'm not mistaken. That and he gets free room and board for his horse, Epona. I'd say that's a pretty sweet deal for saving me every game aye? Not only that but he gets to be the keeper of the triforce of Courage. He's got a lot riding for him. I mean what else is he going to do for a living? He wasn't getting very far living in the forest with other children.

Zelda

Dear Zelda,

Why don't you changed into Shiek and kick Ganondorf's ass when he tries to kidnap you?

Marth

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Dear Marth,

I would change into Shiek and "kick his ass" But that would require my wardrobe. I know you're a very crafty prince and carry a dressrobe with matching tiara for every occasion, Marth...but I don't have the means nor the sources to do the same. So most of the time I just sit and wait in my gown, because who could really kick someone's ass in high heels?

Zelda

Dear Zelda,

Marth could take on Link in a sword fight.

Anonymous

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Dear Anonymous,

I don't know the arts of swordplay, nor who is better or worse. So I can't really accept or deny your opinion on who is the better sword fighter. I'd say that Link has strength behind his blade, which is always useful in one quick swift punch. But then you have Marth as well with his agility and ability to escape a lot of hard blows that Link has to give. I guess I'll have a contest in Hyrule sometime soon to really judge who's the better man.

Zelda

Let me guide you home...