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Dear Zelda,
I'M BACK! Yay! Yay! Yay! I know you don't care! Yay! Did you miss me? No? Good. Cause I didn't miss you. I missed Marth though.*Huggles Marth* MARTH! I MISSED YOU SSSSSSSOOOOOO MUCH!!!! I'LL NEVER LEAVE YOU AGIAN!!!! *Lets go*
Anyway, I really got back two days ago, but I was to lazy to E-mail you. Hehe. :P And I saw Alien Vs Preditor yesterday. It was really good. You should go see it!
The Strange Man is here now. And the Manly Man is all assholely. And the Womanly woman is cleaning. And the Catly cat is bitchy. And me,I'm just lazy. :)
Well, here some stupid, pointless questions for you. 1. Have you seen my teeth? 2. Do you like the Harry Potter books? 3. ......Is that...What I think it is? 4. If you could vote, would you vote for Bush or Kerry? 5. Play that funky music white boy? 6. Have you been watching the Olympics? 7. Anyone have any questions for me? Like, "Acco, how much sugar do you eat in a day?" or "Why are you so weird?".
Well, thats all. I hope you update soon.
Love, Acco(The Kenshin obsessed girl)
P.S. Please get your Oekaki board up soon. I need to establish my rein as Queen of Crappy Oekaki over it. I think my other kingdoms might revolt against me, and I would feel safer I had some place to go in case they do. >_> <_<
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Dear Acco,
A pleasure to see your presence again, Acco...I think? Anyway, I'm sure Marth has missed you just as much as I have.
heh..heh...You know it!
Anyway, to answer your questions: 1. No I haven't seen your teeth. You haven't given me a...picture? 2. I've never read them. Well, okay I lied. I started to read "Harry Potter and the sorceror's stone", but I never got a chance to finish it. From what I could see, it seemed like a good book. 3. You know it. 4. I would have to vote for Bush. Not that I'm a republican or anything. But I don't think he's really done anything wrong in his first presidential position. So why not again? Not that Kerry is a bad person either. 5. Link, get on that.
...?
6. I've been kinda keeping an eye on the olympics. I saw that one guy trying to get the record of gold medals. I mean damn. I'd be happy with just ONE. Greedy bast- anyway... 7. I haven't had any seperate questions for you as of yet. I'll gladly update you if that was to change, though.
I'd love to have an Oekaki board as much as you would, Acco. Apparently the webmistress is retarded and can't figure this out on her own. I'll keep you updated on that too.
Zelda Marth and Link
hey queenie.. or princess... w/e O_o
let me just start mby saying, your page fkkn rocks HA I SAID IT o_O Anyways, why in god damn fuck does it take so freaking long for nintendo to make some 'Good" games, and why in fing hell does australia miss out so much? O_o Yes.. AUSTRALIA
-Hell Cat
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Dear Hell Cat,
I thank you kindly for your compliments on the site. I honestly don't know why it takes the designers on nintendo so long to make a good game, really. I mean if they went all out and just made series after series of Legend of Zelda games, the place would be a hit. I mean EVERYONE loves Zelda! *beams* Australia. I always wanted to visit there someday. Is it really as weird as everyone says it is? Maybe -thats- why it misses out so much?
Zelda
Dear Zelda,
I know what you are. YOU ARE A MAN!!!!! I read it in your diary. And I also know your true love is..... GANONDORF!!!!! *dun dun dun* Oh yeah, you forgot to return my brain that you borrowed last week. At least I have a spare. Meet me in Kakariko to return it to me. Y'know. At you're old house. In the tree. Ok? Meet me there at 3:00 in the morning when the cuccos crow.
Red Hare
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Dear Red Hare,
I'm slightly confused by this letter. I don't know if you're mistaking me with Link or not. And heavens no! Ganondorf is nowhere close to being -my- lover. The guy is entirely too evil for my blood. Plus I find red hair to be a complete turn off. Now about that brain. I wouldn't be shocked if Link has something to do with that. I mean he used to live in a tree and such. So ask him later on about that.
Dude you SO lied to me! You said I could keep it! I have to make experiments on it and such! Damnit this is the last time I do business with a rabbit.
Zelda and Link
Dear Zelda,
OMFG rofl rofl rofl, its zelda!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
lol lol lol rofl rofl omg rofl omg! u r nice, can i have sum flies?
rofl rofl, om--
this E-mail ends here abruptly. It was sent by a frog, and was deleteed by its owner due to crappy content. TEAM HYNOX! CRAPPY SINCE 1992!
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Dear frog man,
OMFG ROFLZ!!!!!1111!!11 I DIDN'T NO THAT WUZ U!!!! OMG OMG OMG OMG!!!WTF?!?!111 I'M SRY BUT U CANT HAVE MY FLIES HAHAHAHAHA. UR A FROG!!!! ROFLAFJLASDJFASDFLASFMAO!!!!
Dear...God.
Zelda and Link
Zelda,
We have a code Beige, I repeat a code Beige. Send help soon. If I die, tell my wife I said "Hello". "Yes your neutralness".
The Neutral king of the Neutral kingdom, Neutralopolis
The Neutralites thank you in advance for helping us in the epic struggle of neutal and evil.
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Dear Neutral King,
A code beige eh? I wish I knew what that meant. I mean I don't even know how many soldiers in my vast royal army to bring you know? I mean I have thousands mind you. How many do you need? Ah crap it. I'll just send Link.
*sighs* This is such a harsh business I work for.
Zelda and Link
Dear Zelda,
What would kill aliens better, a machine gun or a BFG 40K? I need help now!
Rainer Fishbaugh
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Dear Rainer Fishbaugh,
Considering I have no knowledge or experience with weaponry as that. I would say a machine gun would work? I mean I hear those are pretty mean.
Zelda
Dear Zelda,
Remember me, scumbags? You scared the crap out of me! Now face my revenge because I'm popular with the kids and you aren't! I'll turn the kids into zombies who watch my TV show, buy all my merchandise, play my card game, watch my movies, and confuse their parents by making a Keaton language for the kids to speak that's really nothing more than a jabbering walrus played backwards! You can't stop me, for I am the great and powerful Keaton! Feel my pokemon-esque wrath! I also am making my own video game called Keaton'mon Arsenic version, and Keaton'mon Hydrogen version. Later I'll make a follow up to those called Keaton'mon Foxfire Version, which follows the TV show's storyline more, and has a nemesis that swears like a sailor! Face my wrath!
Keaton
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Dear Keaton,
Yeah I remember you. And I'd scare you again if I had the chance! Don't mess with the crown, pal. I'll make a Keaton season if you don't. And I highly doubt your card game will outweigh my vast array of games that have been created, you overstuffed-yellow-infested-toy-of-lameness. You have no wrath fox boy.
Zelda
P.S. BOOOO!!!! HAHAHAHAHHAA! GOT YOU AGAIN!!!
Dear Zelda,
Zelda, we transplanted a human brain into a monkey, but it died the next day from drinking its own urine. Now we can build robots to put people's brains in. The robots will be 5 foot nothing, and have the strength of five gorillas! Robots will also live on reservations, and have three laws to keep them in check! Ha ha ha! Want to be in a robot?
Sicko Sammy
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Dear Sicko Sammy,
The name really suits you. I thought I'd start off with that at least. I don't exactly want to donate my brain to your robots of evil. And dare you take a step into Hyrule with that madness that you call science. I'll send Link on all of them! HAH!
Zelda
Dear Link,
How long is your sword? Mine is freakishly long!
Zelda, do you like my sword?
The Swordsman
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Dear Swordsman,
My sword is about-...wait a minute. YOU'RE A SICK SICK MAN!!! *screams*
...
Um...should I even answer this?
Zelda and Link
Deer Linck,
Eye cee dat yoo arnt fe won. Yoo dont now nothin abot any materix, ya hear? Eye bannish yoo too drinck all meye xtra beeer dat I coulldnt drinck toodaey. Man, eye knead sum moor of dat vodka!
Eye hate you! Morfeephees
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Morphius,
I guess I can say that I'm incredibly sorry for driving you to alcoholism...but I WON'T! HAHAHAHA!! LAUGHS ON YOU PUNK!!!
Link
Dear Zelda,
I had a Class-A, ultra bitchin' party at the meter room last night! My zombie frog plan didn't workout, so I've decided to try and open the Ragnarok, and release all kinds of ancient demons and crap under my control. Stupid human form! If I was still a dragon, you'd all be being digested and crapped out by now! Crapped out!
I claim the sun as mine! You can't use it without my permission, but I'll sell it to you for the land underneath Hyrule Palace!
Tiamat, Lord of the wastes, King of darkness, Master of evil, Hound of the resurrection, Slayer of the innocent, Devourer of Souls, Overlord of the Undead, Destroyer of Empires, Nightmare to all, Demon of Chaos, Supreme Rock Master, Bringer of Misery, Plague of Fear, Butcher of Hylians, Murderer of Hippies Avatar of Fury, Walking Desecration, Embodiment of Desolation, Impaler of Peasants, Drinker of Innocent Blood, Pandora's Box, Pirate of Perversity, President of inequity, Vicious Dog of Doom, Prince of Despair, The Malicious Murderer, Archduke of Disaster, Creator of Malevolence, Phantom of Debauchery, Tyrant of Depravity, Ghoul of Horror, Fiend of Dread, Bane of the Living, Eternal HellHound of Foulness, Executor of The Angelic, Defacer of The Saintly, Chief of Obscenity, Director of Contamination, Terror of The Night, Amplifier of Catastrophe, Sadist of Calamity, Assassinator of The Pure, Emperor of Hatred, Conveyor of Indecency, Beast of Annihilation, Ripper of Ruin, Gold Card Member of The Meter Room, Awakener of Wickedness, Hellspawn of Hades, Committer of Crime
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Dear Tiamat,
How about we make a trade? I'll sell you that demonic looking moon for the sun. I mean c'mon now, it's evil! And it's got those glowing evil looking eyes that you probably love! Don't you already own Majora's mask too? It'll be part of a collection!
Zelda
Dear Zelda,
I've got a new song for you! I made this one up myself! This song is pro-war and anti-Bush at the same time! I DO own this song! It IS my property. You can't copy it as your own with only one or two words changed! It is mine I tell you! Mine!
Bush was on a tower with a rifle in his hand, as Saddam walked out so Bush took a stand. Bush's finger on the trigger fell right back, and thunder struck. Now Saddam's head's on a plague.
We'll hunt you down, We'll light up the night! Better be careful When you pick a fight! Invade the desert, Blast through the sand, Go the patriot way, And scorch your wasteland.
Let's beat the Arabs, and maybe go to war. We'll beat them in a week Kick their ass out the door. Let's shoot them for a while Until they're chunks of red meat! So let's blast some Arabs To this funky beat!
We'll hunt you down, We'll light up the night! Better be careful When you pick a fight! Invade the desert, Blast through the sand, Go the patriot way, And scorch your wasteland.
Tanks keep on rolling, and level the ground. There's only dust where a city once was found. They hijacked some missiles, And blew up our friends So let's go to war where the war never ends.
Did you like it? I sure did!
Orange Dae
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Dear Orange Dae,
A lovely song once again. And um...perfect for the occasion seeings how we have the war on terrorism and such. *nods a nodding nod*
Zelda
Dear Zelda,
Hesh want Hesh go Hesh! Hesh! Hesh! Do you want Hesh go Hesh! Hesh! Hesh!
And now Hesh's question: Why is the sky?
Your Friend, Hesh
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Dear Hesh,
Why is the sky....what? *blinks*
Hesh...I mean Zelda
Dear Zelda,
I'm here to warn you. Just call me "Marduk". It isn't my real name, but it will have to do for now.
I wouldn't underestimate that Tiamat back there. I know what her er him er it (Some of its nine heads are male, some are female) is capable of. In my country it warred on the gods, spawning a brood of dragons, sphinxes, scorpion-men and other demons and monsters for its army. After defeat, our judge, Nebo banished it to a more human form, and had it exiled to the ocean. I don't know how it ended up with you, but we're sorry. We have reports of Tiamat's friend, Kingu showing up in Termina selling copies of The Necronomicon. Ha, they'll never learn. Well, do your best to stop this monstrosity, since the darn thing's your problem now, and not ours. Thanks for taking it off our hands, you are truly a generous soul.
Best Wishes, "Marduk"
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Dear Marduk,
Yeah...I guess you're um...welcome there? He (or she?) doesn't seem to be much of a bother as of now. The only thing it's dominating is the email box when I get these through the mail. *laughs lightly* Don't worry, I think if I can't handle it, surely my allies will.
Zelda
Dear Zelda,
http://www.weebls-stuff.com/toons/39/
Love, Acco(The creped out Kenshin obsessed girl) >_> <_<
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Dear Acco,
Well I've certainly seen everything now. It's amazing what people animate these days. I agree with feeling creeped out as well.
Zelda
Dear Link and Zelda, Hey! Not really known you guys a lot but I've heard a lot of tales in Mushroom Kingdom. Link I feel your pain man. I've saved Princess Toadstool atleast a dozen times and not gotten anything at all! Maybe a kiss once or twice but I mean, come on! We're looking for just a little bit more then a simple kiss on the cheek. To Zelda: Just do Link a favor, the reason he keeps pulling away and falling down all the time is from that bulge in his pants...I mean come on! You can see it half way across the screen. Damn Kokiri put something on nobody -wants- to see that. Anyways, You are welcome to visit Mushroom Kingdom say....8-ish on the 15th? I'll make sure that everything is prepared nicely. Luigi was just saying the other day how much he wanted to clean something...
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Dear Mario,
I thought we've discussed this. I'm tired of everyone saying that me and Link are gonna become some cutsie couple one day! It almost disturbs me! Well, not that he's a bad guy. I mean he's very sweet at times. And I guess saving my life all the time is a plus. I mean it's not like he's all that bad looking. And at times he's not all there, but he can be smart sometimes. The guy isn't horrible. But I mean just cause he saves me, that doesn't mean I become his wife! I'd be glad to stop by and visit. Will Peach be there? I need to return some things to her. Nice to hear that Luigi is keeping active as well. See you then.
He has a bulge in his pants all the time...?
Zelda
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