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Dear Zelda,

If I don't get some catnip NOW I'll blow the world up, and eat your head!

Armaggedon Kitten

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Dear Kitty,

Dear little one. I say that all the time about my coffee, but you don't see ME getting the chance to bite people's heads off.

...Uh...

SHUT UP LINK!!

*silences*

Zelda
and Link


Dear Link,

Sorry about my last email, I was going crazy trying to collect some more masks and finish paying my bills and junk -_-;; (my wife can't stand my antics, going around the world collecting masks, instead of helping her at home).

But I was wondering if you have ever considered learning an orchestral instrument like the violin or cello. Doesn't it get a little monotonous always playing the ocarina? Also, I was asking some of my friends how you can carry 30 bombs, 50 arrows, a bow, a few bottles of stuff, more weapons, tunics, etc. Isn't that stuff heavy, or do you have Epona carry some of it?

Sorry, hehe... (sigh...)

Happy Mask Psycho Dude

P.S.- Princess Zelda, if you need anyone for costumes or masks for plays at Hyrule Castle, send for me. I also cater for parties and do some acting on the side. Tell the others I said hi.

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Dear Happy Mask Shop Guy,

Is there anything else I can call you? I mean do you have a -real- name by chance? I just get tired of saying "Dear happy mask shop guy" It's just so long and informal. Anyway! I've played all kinds of instruments. Just not in my Hylian form. I've played Deku pipes, those drum things...not to mention a guitar. I guess a violin or cello would be interesting to learn. I am quite talented in the music field...I guess I could give it a try.

Though it seems like a great feat. I actually don't carry that stuff with me all the time. You see, I'm mostly pretty light, with nothing on me. It's only when you wish for me to use something, that the camera freezes, and the stage guys on the outside of the camera hand me my stuff. Sorry to spoil your hopes and dreams, but that's what happens.

He is a pretty lousy hero when it comes to that. But it's true. Same thing happens when you wish for me to use arrows and such. Like in Wind Waker? Yeah...the stagehands are always handing us things from the outside. Kinda sad, really. I'll be sure to look you up if I have any festivals. Thank you for the offer!

Zelda
and Link


Dear Zelda,

Sorry I haven't sent a e-mail in a while. I just many things on my mind and I just needed some time off. But the good news is I've started drawing like 10 pictures at once and I'll finishing them...like...sometime...hopefully ^_^;. But for the time being I'm having waay too much fun on Photoshop.

Zelda- What are your pastimes?
Link- Do you play videogames?
Gannondorf- Why did you grow a mullet?! What are you on and why aren't you sharing?

Brenda

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Dear Brenda,

Glad to hear that you've been drawing. I consider drawing to be one of the best forms of relaxation. You just kick back, let your imagination take over, and put it to paper! In fact, I love it so much that it -is- indeed one of my pastimes. I also love to go horseback riding with Link. He always takes me to such great places. I also enjoy a bit of archery on the side.

I play all kinds of videogames. I mean mostly the ones that involve me. *beams* But I do like Mario games. You know like Mario Kart, Super smash brothers, Mario golf, Mario tennis. I love all kinds of those. Oh! And those Mario party games that rub your fingers RAW!!

It is NOT a mullet. I don't know where you people get this. It's a fine hairstyle. A King's hairstyle. Especially since I'm the Gerudo King. This hairstyle is popular amungst the Hylian folk as well. Mullet...sheesh.

Zelda
Ganondorf
and Link


Dear Zelda,

Or maybe dear Link,

OK link, do you get jealous if ANYBODY is with zelda like Marth or even Ganon?

Anonimous Z

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Dear Anonimous Z,

I never did get to find out who this guy was. Zelda? True love?! *taps foot*

Ooh...that guy...heh...heh...That's um...NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!

Looks like Zelda found a boyfriend. *snickers*

I did NOT!!

Zelda
Marth
and Link


Dear Milady Malon and Zelda,

I love saying milady to you Malon. Anyway I found your diary in the middle of Hyrule feild on my morning runs through Hyrule. Sweet, I am a poet and did not know it. I will deliver it in a few days to you, and no i did not read it.Now for zelda you are very much loved by my knights and will you tell your archers to quite shooting me with arrows. That does not exactly tickle ya know. I am a promoted knight so I have a new title. Do not worry Malon, I'll protect you!!

w00t!!!

From,
Ryan the dragon general

P.S. Acco you wench, you ass, and you shit kicker.

----------

Dear Ryan,

I love HEARING it! *giggles* Oh! And thank you for finding my diary. You didn't read through it...did you? *blush* I only hope you didn't. I'll trust you on your word. I tend to go out and write a lot. I must have just completely forgotten about it. *sigh* Oh well, thank you for returning it to me.

Loved by -what- knights? I have no knights. Wait..do I? I don't even know.

Maybe his name is JOSH.

*falls over laughing* Man...he's really steamed.

*sigh* Link...you jealous twit. Anyway...I'll tell my archers to stop shooting you Ryan. I guess they just think an enemy is nearby and just...attack. I'm dreadfully sorry.

JEALOUSY HURTS TOO ZELDA!! *sobs*

Link!!

Zelda
Marth
Link
and Malon


Dear Zelda,

"Do you like Silver or Gold best?"
"As for gold or Silver? I don't like pokemon"

I wasn't talk about pokemon, you dumbass. I was talk about the colors. Why the hell would I ask about pokemon???

Love,
Acco(The Kenshin obsessed girl)

----------

Dear Acco,

I was just joking! If you were to speak of gold or silver, I'd say gold all the way. I mean look at my tiara! It's GOLD!

Maybe you like Pikachu...?

Zelda


Dear Zelda,

I know you just added Malon to the site, but could you add two more people? I mean, they are like really awesome people. And we all might have a little more fun with them around. The two people I'm talking about are Inuyasha and Kagome. I mean, they would bring even more life into our conversations. But don't even think of adding Miroku to the site. All hell would break loose! And that is no joke. Miroku would rub yours and Malon's butts. He would do that all of the time. I mean, you would have to suspend him for rubbing your butt about a million times a year basically. Not to mention pissing Ryan and Link off at the same time. Though, it would be kind of funny watching Ryan and Link trying to beat the crap out of Miroku for violating Malon's and your own space. Though, I'm not saying it would be funny when Miroku touches your butts. I mean, that is just plain sick and wrong. I'm just saying that as a warning. But please will you add Inuyasha and Kagome to the site. I mean it's only fair since you added Malon to the site for Ryan. Not that I have a problem with that though. Ryan can't stop talking about Malon. Besides, Link might make friends with Inuyasha, so he has another friend. Now Ganondorf, you will have a friend weather you like it or not! I am sort of evil, and we shall be friends. Or else I will have to kill you like I do to every demon that I find. And just to let you guys know, I slay 150 demons a day. So I get plenty of practice at combat. I also make my own weapons, as well as repair damaged weapons. But legendary weapons, I can't work with. They are a bit out of my reach. Oh, and Roy. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, you got suspended again! (pointing my finger at Roy and laughing hysterically) Now, I leave the decision to you princess Zelda. (bows down)

Tyler the Demon Slayer

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Dear Tyler,

I can't add anyone else to the site. Why? Because the webmistress forbids it. Mostly because she doesn't want to deal with making the site give you more space...or something like that. She says that the left side of the screen has enough to look at. Let alone could we add anyone who -isn't- tied in with myself and the others. And Link would be JEALOUS of Miroku touching my bum?

He's jealous about that Josh guy.

I'LL KILL HIM!!!

Enough said..*blinks*

Zelda
Marth
and Link


Dear Zelda,

This song is inspired by my hyperactiveness, and finding an old playboy under my mattress.

Sex is good,
sex is fine fine,
doggy style or 69?

Just for fun,
or getting paid,
everybody loves getting laid!

It's horny poetry! Now I need to take a cold shower.

----------

Must...take...cold...shower...

Must...take...cold...shower...with...Zelda.

Must...take...cold...shower...with.............Link

...

Zelda
Marth
and Link


Dear Zelda,

So. I'm back in NEW MEXICO!! Yayness all around. But this house, its old. It creeks. And I'm here alone.....Kinda creepy....So. I watched "The Grudge" last night. It was pretty good. The ending was predicable though. I don't get why the dead lady makes that frog thingy noise before she kills you. Maybe it was the last noise she made before she died...? And the kid with the cat noise. What was that about? That one part, were the helper girl was walking around her work building, and that guy found her, and she turned around and her bottom jaw was missing, was so freaking nasty! I had a dream about tha-...........

.......So, Marth......Wanta hang out? Like, over here? I could worship you. Or we could just watch some T.V. or something. I got chips! How about it? Please? I'll be in the locked room at the end of the hallway. Knock 3 times and I'll know its you. .....And bring your sword too....

Love,
Acco(The Kenshin obsessed girl)

----------

Dear Acco,

Back in New Mexico eh? So that's where you live and all? Old and creeky? Kinda reminds me of the time when we were refinishing up the castle. Boy this this place seem old and creeky. Kinda like that house on the Haunting. Only with less children faces everywhere. That and a big creepy guy.

He kinda reminds me of Ganondorf. Or Ganondorf reminds me of him...something like that.

Anyway...

Sword...?

Zelda
Marth
and Link


Dear Zelda,

I'm bored so I'm gonna ask you some questions. When you are shiek, it is pretty obvious you are a girl because when you yell, people can tell it is a girl, except link because he is too dumb. Why didn't you try to make your voice deeper, unless you wanted stupid link to know it was you?

Love Malonaria

----------

Dear Malonaria,

Well...I was slightly hinting at it actually being me. But yet again, if I was so obvious, why didn't Ganondorf capture me then? Instead of when I actually revealed it to Link? I have no idea. I'm just going by the script here. I tried to make it deeper, but then I ended up losing my voice for five days. That's as deep as I get, folks. I'm sorry.

hehe...she said deep.

...

Zelda
and Link


Dear Zelda and Malon,

How come Malon and Talon have a little mario or bowser symbol on their dresses/skirts?

Love Malonaria.

----------

Dear Malonaria,

I don't know...Malon is a strange person. She was the one that designed the outfits for all of them.

I was told that I had to put the images on there. It's more or less sponsorship for Nintendo. Since Mario is the official symbol of Nintendo, using Bowser would be less...obvious. I mean you see it everywhere. Have you ever looked at the paintings inside of Zelda's castle in Ocarina of Time? You see images of Mario and such and Peach I think all over the place. Also, if you look at the Happy Mask shop guy...he's got a Mario mask on his back. Sponsorship, folks.

Zelda
and Malon


Dear Zelda,

Ever play Animal Crossing? Don't you hate Tom Nook? People think he's a racoon, but he isn't. He's a Racoon-dog. DUH.

Oooh, Thanksgiving is so close!, Jesse The Forest Ookami

P.S. Tell Samus that I think that she is sooooooo cool in Metroid Prime 2 and that she's still my videogame rolemodel.

----------

Dear Jesse,

I've played it before, and I thought the game lacked talent. I mean look at that Tom Nook. He's a...raccoon dog. Who wants to play a game like that?

You didn't even play that game...did you?

That's completely beside the point. I just wanted to add structure to my email, that's all. I'm not on speaking terms with Samus right now. She played quite the prank on me during Halloween and threw metroids at my castle. They were all over the place. So I'm waging WAR on her! We'll see who's the better blonde in the end!

Zelda
and Link


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| 39 | 40 | 41 | 42 | 43 | 44 | 45 | 46 | 47 | 48 | 49 | 50


Let me guide you home...