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Dear Zelda,
Ever gotten into a catfight with Peach? Did you make her cry? Did she accuse you of trying to steal the Olympic gold medal in ice skating? Were you dressed as Sheik at the time?
Crazy mad reporter
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Dear reporter,
Oh the thousands of cat fights that occured between me and Peach. May I count the ways...
Or count the ways in which she won.
BLASPHAMY!!!
She's dressed up as Shiek just to BEAT Peach at times. I guess she's just not...woman enough...
So she dresses up as a...man?
THIS INTERVIEW IS OVER! Get my agent!
ON MY WAY!
Zelda Marth and Link
Dear Link and company,
Happy Thanksgiving!
My name is actually Vespasian Antonius de Pisa. My last name is Severin, but I use "de Pisa" sometimes also. But I am mostly called "Ves" by my friends. So I guess you can call me that. Oh, by the way, guru-guru is just a nickname for the windmill guy. His real name is Zorian Damascus. He needs to find another song, that one is so repetitive...
If you were wondering where I got a mask of Mario, I ripped off his face! (kidding...) <.< >.> Don't tell him I said that, please!!!
Well, see ya! *uses a deku nut like Shiek and disappears*
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Dear Vespasian,
Quite the intriguing name you have there. I would have never thought...*snicker* HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! What kind of name is VESPASIAN ANTONIUS DE PISA?! Leaning TOWER of Pisa, pisa?! hahahahahaha!! Oh my gosh...I'm gonna explode in laughter!! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! What FREAK parent would name their kid that?! I gotta find this Hylian and like, laugh at them for several hours on end.
*smothers Link with a pillow* I apologize for Link's rudeness. Happy Thanksgiving to you as well. heh heh *sweatdrop*
Zelda and Link
Dear Zelda,
Happy Thanksgiving! I invite you to come to our blimp hanger for a feast to remember.
From, Carl and the dudes at Team Hypnox (Crappy since 1992)
PS Bring stuff!
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Dear Carl,
Happy Thanksgiving to you as well. A blimp hanger? I don't think I've ever been to one of those before.
CAN WE GO ON BLIMP RIDES?!?!
Zelda and Link
Dear People,
HAPPY TURKEY DAY, YA FOOL!!!
Love, Acco(The Kenshin obsessed girl)
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Dear Acco,
Happy Thanksgiving to you as well, Acco.
And God bless us, Every one.
*blinks*
Zelda Marth and Link
Dear Zelda,
I am a cancan girl. Are you a cancan girl. Do you ever want to be a cancan girl? All the boys whistle when you lift your dress, I'm sure link will do it for you.
Love Malonaria
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Dear Malonaria,
I get enough whistling from that boy when I walk into a room. Let alone lift a dress.
I'd probably go into a sugar coma. @.@;...
See what I mean? The man is obsessed. He's made it rather obvious now.
*whistles*
Zelda and Link
Dear Zelda,
I got out of the slammer today, but before that I shaved every hair off my cellmate's body. Do you want it in the mail, or on your front door step next to a flaming bag of crap?
Tiamat, Lord of the wastes, King of darkness, Master of evil, Hound of the resurrection, Slayer of the innocent, Devourer of Souls, Overlord of the Undead, Destroyer of Empires, Nightmare to all, Demon of Chaos, Supreme Rock Master, Bringer of Misery, Plague of Fear, Butcher of Hylians, Murderer of Hippies, Avatar of Fury, Walking Desecration, Embodiment of Desolation, Impaler of Peasants, Drinker of Innocent Blood, Pandora's Box, Pirate of Perversity, President of inequity, Vicious Dog of Doom, Prince of Despair, The Malicious Murderer, Archduke of Disaster, Creator of Malevolence, Phantom of Debauchery, Tyrant of Depravity, Ghoul of Horror, Fiend of Dread, Bane of the Living, Executor of The Angelic, Defacer of The Saintly, Chief of Obscenity, Director of Contamination, Terror of The Night, Amplifier of Catastrophe, Kaiser of Calamity, Assassinator of The Pure, Emperor of Hatred, Conveyor of Indecency, Beast of Annihilation, Ripper of Ruin, Gold Card Member of The Meter Room, Awakener of Wickedness, Hellspawn of Hades, Committer of Crime, Twister of many Skulls, Dictator of Death, Chairman of Notoriousity, Locust of Famine, Mantis of the Apocalypse, Fang of the Poison Tooth, The Forever Decapitator, Master of the disembowelment arts, Pyromaniac of Persecution, Headmaster of Oppression, Deceptor of Dawn, Necromancer of the Putrid, Ultimus of The Graveborn, Eater of the dead, Scion of Pestilence, Wraith of Havoc, Evil Eye of Agony, Praetor of The Pit, The Shrieking Shriveler, Archon of Agony, Evincar of Foulness, Lich of Mutilation, Crusader of Treachery, Apparition Injustice, Painbringer of Purgery, Keeper of The Void, Sadist of Lobotomy, Ranger of Misfortune, Overseer of The Tainted, Titan of Extinction, Beacon of Incineration, Firebeast of the Inferno, Muse of the Wicked, Penumbra of Betrayal, Juggernaut of Pain, Hydra of Dominance, Force of Indulgence, Stronghold of the Relentless, Legacy of Pandemonium, Shaver of Yaks, Vandalizing Drone, Lost but Seeking, Crusader for Injustice, Despiser of Law, Renewer of Abhorrence, Exploiter of Exploitation, Negator of Faith, Shaman of Ill-will, Fist of Destitution, Harasser of all he Surveys.
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Dear Tiamat,
Link has a fetish for that kind of crap. You can give it to him. *laughs*
...
Zelda and Link
Dear Zelda,
I have a confession, I am the unholy Bastard child that was produced from a world with too much TV and radio. I exist only to put annoying social commentary and cruddy lyrics to songs I hear on every square inch of land I see. The lifelong commercial that I am will never end... I am immortal to you all! Behold my hot and cold running water, rear view suspension, with plasma screen, natural male enhancement, collect call whenever minutes times three! This is an offer too hard to miss, and too hot for TV! And if you call now you'll get all our other products delivered, but wait! There's more! The Infovac Cleaning System removes dirt through a series of injections in your forehead, ear, and makes you pretty as a No PHone! No PHonE! No Phone! Get your credit card ready now, because this offer won't last long while you can buy this program at your local supermarket. This lady looks so fine! She slices, dices, cuts through cans, Ch- Ch- Ch- Chia! Live for the swarm! Fullness from a value menu never was so Who are you? The 2 screen touch pad even comes with a nifty stylus, so buy yous today, NOW! I will infest your mass media like a green snake up a sugar cane. Have you found out my name yet? Live for the swarm!
From, Armageddon Kitten
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Dear Kitty,
By Din, how do I respond to this?!
Your email. You deal with it. *cuts out*
Zelda and Marth
Dear Zelda,
Though i am kind of upset over you not being able to add any more people to the site, there is one good about it. You can't add Miroku to the site. Ganondorf, since you haven't even answered me at all, I am going to stop trying to be your friend. Instead, I might just kill you. Oh, I also am the leader of a group of demon slayers. They can strike without their target knowing they are there. But with Ganongorf, he would just barge in and shoot out some of his dark magic at the demon. Maybe even make the thing suffer. We preffer a quick, and painless death. But if it can't be helped, we just have to make the darn thing suffer since it won't die. I also wish you all, except for Ganondorf, a happy Thanksgiving. Even though it is past Thanksgiving, I'm saying it anyway. Roy, you should really watch what you say. Do you enjoy getting suspended all the time or what?
Sometimes when I am really bored, I will go to my computer down in my basement and I will take Inuyasha episode summaries, and I will type up the episode on the computer. But, I also add me into it, as well as another person who shall not be mentioned. And no, it is not any of you guys either. I would have to be bored out of my mind to do that. No offence though. I also tend to type a whole lot, doesn't it? That means I have a lot to say. I really enjoy Japanese music. Whenever I listen to 'My Will' which is the first endinng song for Inuyasha, I just have to look at the picture I have of Kagome (covers mouth) Did I say that? Hopefully nobody heard me say that, cause I didn't say anything that you would want to know.
Tyler the Demon Slayer
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Dear Tyler,
I'm sure that Sarah is sorry that she can't add anymore to the site at the time being. She's actually working something out with Erek about making the left side bigger on the template and such. Or maybe just removing the lil "*" thingies you see and such. Ah well, anyway...I love Inuyasha. I find myself doing that EXACT same thing! I always make Link one of the demons that I slay though.
...
Yeah...he seems to enjoy it and such. I love the song "My Will" too! I'm finding myself fond of the new song that's playing at the end credits now on Adult Swim though. So yeah...fond of Kagome eh? *winks* I won't tell....wait.
And you're going to send a Demon after me? I'd banish it to the dark world. It's as simple as that. I don't even have to zap it or destroy it or anything. This isn't pokemon. I can zap him easily. HAH! You lose.
Zelda Ganondorf and Link
Dear Milady Malon,
Do you remember the question I asked you. The one were I askrd you if you were confortable living the life of a knights wife. Well, I am still waiting for an answer.
From, Ryan the dragon general
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Dear Ryan,
A knight's wife? Well...you're a general now. So what Knight shall I be marrying? ^_^
*shakes head*
Zelda and Malon
Dear Zelda,
Aren't those robot cats and dogs creepy? They seem all lovable and huggable like my cuter siamese twin who doesn't have as big a scar on her side, but turn out to be a mindless shell of mechanics, a soulless abomination created to provide sick entertainment for the pleasure of sticky handed, repulsive children. I never liked kids much. Nothing but germ breeding grounds, money sinkholes, and whining annoyances, but that's not the point. Please don't get me a robot for Christmas.Thank you.
Your Friend, Xel'Rixa
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Dear Xel'Rixa,
Well I'll make sure to cross that off my list and such. *does so* I figured you'd be fond of a robot and such. I mean what with all the machinery you keep around the place and such. I find children to be the same at times. But you gotta remember, if it's yours...you'll love it regardless.
So what WOULD you want for Christmas...?
Zelda
Dear Zelda,
Me am identity crisis issues! me am me or me am knot me? Knot sea of crimson doom doom domm? What of ex-lax factory next door where zookeeper's wife am used to live? All am falling apart! Mao am needing guidance through haze of cerulean labor day: Kill! Kill! Kill!
Mao See-nothing
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Dear Mao,
Oh that's definitely you. I don't think anyone could mock your lack of English. I mean damn, I know me and Link have tried. So worry not dear friend! You are definitely yourself!
Zelda
Dear Zelda,
Hey! Your name sounds like mine! Ha ha!
From Xelda
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Dear Xelda,
And I bet you're FRIENDLIER too!!
...
Zelda and Link
Dear Marth,
I have a lot to talk about, mostly about blocks, so listen up:
I went down to H and R Block, to see my friend if he can help me with my writer's block, but a police line was blocking my way. I asked the officers what was going on, and he said somebody got shot. I got back in my car to go home, but they put up a road block to stop a rogue army dude from escaping from his block, and they caught me instead. I was sent to prison for no apparent reason, and had to push big stone blocks all over the place. I just got out, and went back down to H and R Block, to ask my friend for help with my writers block, but my back was screwed up from pushing around big stone blocks, and I couldn't concentrate, so I crashed into the river. I'm just hear to say that you never helped me through any of this, so you suck!
From, The Ghost of Tom
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Dear Ghost of Tom,
I'm sorry that I couldn't help you. I was helping Sarah with her drawer's block and really had no way to get to you. I mean when I felt some weird vision of blocks in my head, I felt it was something about you. So I attempted to go and save you, but you hit a stone block before finally landing in the river. So here I am...with your death on my mind. And it's BLOCKING me from ever thinking about ANYTHING else ever AGAIN! *screams*
Marth
Dear Zelda,
I loved your TV show! Did you like mine?
Love, Gumby
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Dear Gumby,
Oh I absolutely LOVED it! You and lil Pokey! Awww!! The claymation was FABULOUS! heh..heh
I didn't like it that much...did you Marth? *whispering*
Not...really.
Zelda Marth and Link
Dear Zelda,
This is getting out of hand. I'm sorry.
Love, Boris Boningham, Master muscician.
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Dear Boris,
Yeah...once the flutes started losing control...boy...I would suggest maybe using trumpets next time. They tend to not fuss so much.
Zelda
Dear Zelda,
I was watching Drawn Together the other day, and there's a guy who's based on Link, except he's gay. Well, for a while he had a girlfriend, that looks almost exactly like you. Do you know her? I forgot her name. She even called Xandir a "Stupid Fairy Boy" when he told her he was gay. It was quite amusing, and the bad guy even looked like Ganon! If you haven't seen this yet, I know you'd think it was hilarious!
Sicko Sammy
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Dear Sicko Sammy,
I wish I had seen it now. Except I don't know how I feel about Link being my boyfriend. I mean sometimes I do think he's ga-
*cheers!*
...?
Zelda Marth and Link
Dear Zelda,
I like grapes! Grapes are fun! What's your favorite kind? I like Concord.
From, Star ratS
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Dear Star ratS,
Concord's my favorite as well. I absolutely love the lil spots on 'em.
Zelda
Dear Link,
LOOK!
I guess you lost your chance of being with Zelda cause it looks like she prefers all her fan exept you..
HA HA HA HA !!!
^o^
Anonimous Z
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Dear Anonimous Z,
You're a very very cruel person...
THAT WAS NOTHING! It's a group picture of me and Vash! Big deal! I'm a HUGE fan of his!!!
Yeah...pictures with all those bubbly things and sparkles are ALWAYS a sign of "just friends"
Zelda Roy and Link
Dear Zelda,
Do you remember when you had to deal with your castle archers when they where shooting at Ryan's dragon knights? Well, now they are shooting at me and my demon slayers. We were just walking in Hyrule field for a bit. We were walking in between your castle and the Lon Lon Ranch and then we were all of a sudden bombarded with arrows. Fortunately none of us were killed. A few almost died, but thanks to Malon, they were able to survive. Malon was luckily outside doing something at the time. She helped the wounded with bandages and such. I was also shot in the leg. I was almost shot in the head, but one of my demon slayers was able to diflect the arrow. Could you please tell your archers to not shoot at every person that might look like a thief. You know, we may look like thieves a bit, but we are not. Since I was shot in the leg, my demon slaying will be really limited. So if you could do that, I would really appreciate it.
Tyler the wounded Demon Slayer
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Dear Tyler,
I think it was more or less the demons that really triggered the arrow attack, methinks. Besides, You're gonna have to take that up with Link. He's the one that controls the attacks around here.
A FLY IN THE CASTLE! ONWARD MEN!! WE MUST DESTROY IT!!! *unsheaths his sword*
...
Zelda and Link
Dear Zelda,
*Sigh*
Love, Acco(The Depressed Kenshin obsessed girl)
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Dear Acco,
I hope whatever it is that's bothering you gets better, Acco. We need a CHEERY Acco!
If it makes you feel better, I'll still be a sexy beast for you.
Aww...
Zelda and Marth
Dear Zelda,
Have you ever dreamed of saying "Screw the princess life, I'm joining the French Foreign Legion!"? Don't. It's not as good as you think.
Sincerely, Lieutenant Paulette
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Dear Lieutenant,
Damn. That was gonna be my fallback in case I hated ruling the place. Welp, back to the thinking room.
You realize it's gonna be days before she comes out of there. THANKS ALOT LIEUTENANT
Aww...no more gazing at Zelda from your window for a few days. You poor soul.
I AM a poor soul! Gosh, can't anyone stare at their belo-
Almost didn't catch yourself that time, Link.
How unfortunate.
Zelda Link Malon and Marth
Dear Marth,
Oh dear. Uncle John will have to disenchant you again. You are obviously possessed from eating all those green beans. Food of the devil, I tell you. Food of the devil. Prepare for another exorcism tomorrow.
Keeping the Faith, Reverend Crapper
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Dear Reverend,
Dear God not again. *sighs* What CAN I eat?!
Marth
Dear Zelda,
Hello. My name is Acco(The Kenshin obsessed girl)\Queen of Crappy Oekaki. I like Kenshin. He is cool. I also like Marth. He is sexy. I like to do Oekakis. But my computer is crappy, so I can't. This makes me sad.
Do you have a breath mint I can borrow?
Love, Acco(The Kenshin obsessed girl)
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Dear Acco,
Are you...alright? Introducing yourself like that. And I'm not sure if I want to let you borrow a breath mint. You can keep it if you wish.
You can't get tired of hearing how sexy I am. You just can't. *poses*
Zelda and Marth
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