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Dear Roy,
*Waves a little flag with Roys face on it* Yay Roy! We love you!
Love, Acco(The Kenshin obsessed girl)
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Dear Acco,
A pleasure having one of my fans yet again tell me how much they care. Be sure to get with my agent. I'll give you some gift card for something...or something.
...
Roy
Dear Link.Not Zelda,not anyone but, Link.
I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!WILL YOU MARRY ME?????PLEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAASE????...Well you don't have to marry me right now but after a couple dates and we get closer THEN you can marry me.Then I'll be Mrs.Link whatever your last name is.Then we'll have kids and one will be named Link jr. Then we'll grow old together and evntually die.We'll live happily ever after untill we die.And you'll be all mine.HEAR THAT ZELDA LINK IS MINE!!!NOT YOUR'S, NOT MARTH'S, MINE.ALL MINE!
sincerly signed: Link fan. p.s I LOVE YOU LINK!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Dear Link fan,
I'm flattered to hear that you're so ready to take that next big step in life and try to be my bride. Though I do say that I don't even have a license to own a horse. I kinda ride one around illegally. I don't currently have a decent job since there's no evil lurking around because Ganondorf's been sucked into some dark abyss that we have no contact with him. I mostly just do odd jobs around the castle for rupees here or there. You might as well call me mexican for it. I don't know if I could support the 20 kids we'd probably have if we were married. Though I guess the future is always something to hope for, right?
*slaps her forehead*
Link
Link,
I can take you any day Link! You think your sooooooo tough! BRING IT ON! You always need help from someone else don't you yeah! that's what I thought! You and me! Right now! No weapons!
Huro Miriel
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Huro,
No weapons? But it's always so much faster killing someone with a sword. Fine. *drops the sheath and shield*...Just one thing though...
Can you go easy on the grill? I just got my teeth cleaned...
I'm still wondering when someone's gonna ask me something...
Link
Marth,
Glad you'll help me get a date with Zelda so link won't be "so crazy" I always thought you were a nut job but now I have a lot more respect for you
...uhm...sorry for getting you suspended Roy....
Huro Miriel
P.S. Marth, if this goes well you'll have all money you'll ever want's in your entire life!
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Dear Huro,
So you're basically paying me to get the Princess to date you? You realize how easy I'm gonna be getting this money? All I have to do is say that you tried to lock Link up in a closet for a few days. She'll earn respect from you right away.
Marth
Dear Princess Zelda...and the rest of you...,
Well, well, well...a "villian" I am, after all...Hah! You think you can oppose me?! I stated that I wouldn't hurt you...Vaati and Link on the other hand...heh...pain is too weak of a word...I've got plans, you see, and you all are standing in my way...I'd suggest surrendering and I can make your downfalls quick and painless...do not oppose me, but join my darkness...no one would be able to stop us...I'll look forward to a response...Gah hah hah hah hah!!!!
Meta ShadowAxe
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Dear ShadowAxe,
You know...even though that you're evil right now and all...
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ADDRESSING ME FOR ONCE!!!
*coughs* ahem...I could easily stop you. You may seem like a strong dark side, but you simply can't compare to the people we've dealt with. I mean look at Ganondorf. The guy is on steroids or something, he's huge! Not only that, but he holds the power of the Triforce in his grasp. I mean anyone with something like that is something to be well met with. And Link has dealt with him, and destroyed him. You've seen the games. You've read the moments. Link smites things at the last very moment. When I'm back there slapping my forehead realizing that the world is doomed, he comes out of nowhere and saves everything! I mean I don't give him enough credit, really. The guy has really come out at the last moments...late, tripping...but at least he comes out and gets the job done. I could only say the same would happen with you. But I guess it would be with less suspense. Kinda anti-climatic.
Zelda
Dear Zelda,
This letter is the response and questions I have to you(and various others). Yay. :)
Zelda: Yes, that was my room. Does it really look like a ranch house? ._.
My hairs softer! And shinier! And blonder! And hairier! *Pets her hair* >:)
*Reads Roys comments about a certain person and twitches but stays where she is.*
*Then looks at the pics and starts crying and twitching more(Mostly out of angst, but a little tiny bit out of discuss because of the youXGanondorf pics)*
...How do you know about the Lord of the Rings people? And how do they know you? o_O THEY HAVE NO VIDEO GAMES IN MIDDLE EARTH!!!
And, last but no least, DON'T TOUCH ME. *Bites Zelda* :)
Roy: *Looks at Roy with a crazed look and speaks in a strained voice wile smiling crazily and is twitching* AH, LOOK, ITS ROY. EHEHE, THE PERSON I DON'T WANT TO KILL! YES, HIM, EHEHE. OH, I'M SORRY, EHEHE, I DIDN'T CALL YOU THE PERFECTION THAT IS ROY, DID I? EHEHEHEHEH I'M SO FREAKING SORRY, I DIDN'T MEAN TO, OH NO.EHEHE, YES, JUST LIKE I'M SURE YOU DIDN'T MEAN TO SAY THOSE THINGS TO A CERTAIN PERSON OR JUST, YOU KNOW, STICK A SWORD THROUGH HER...Er, HIM. YES, EHEHEHE. *Twitchs violently*
Link: I'm sure your just thrilled to learn that my new Wanna-Happen-Really-Really-Badly-But-Never-Will-Pairing is youXDark Link. :) *Hugs*
....*Looks around*...>_> <_< ....*Sees no one*....AHAHAHAHA, my evil plans are working, FOR I AM SLOWLY TAKING OVER SARAHS PAGE OF ZELDA!!! With my many E-mails, my crappy artwork, the 1,000 post on the Board, and now with other people mentioning my name in their E-mails, I Shall RULE THE SITE!!*Evil laughter* Ah, Sarah's Page of Acco(Or, SPOA), here I come!
...Oh my, did I type that out loud? Ehehehe...He. ^_^;;;
Love, Acco(The Kenshin obsessed girl)
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Dear Acco,
I honestly don't know how people contact me from other worlds. I just look at the messages here. I think that's more or less something you should ask Huro, or Mr. T. I got a letter from him just the other day. I mean really, I don't know where they come from. Or how they hear of me. I guess I'm more famous than I thought? Anyway...I won't touch you. I haven't made that mistake in a long time. *still has the mark on her hand from when she was bitten before...rubs it* It sorta looks like a ranch house, yes. But I guess you couldn't get more ranch than Malon. So no worries.
Think she's been in the sugar again?
Most definitely. Just let it run it's course.
Me and Dark Link? The most you'll ever see between us is a set of cards. We're the greatest team ever! I mean who do you trust more than your own shadow?
I wouldn't trust him.
Zelda Roy Marth and Link
Dear Zelda,
Old am body back! Old am body back!
Slayed am giant toilet paper rat am cookies of super lucky party! Now we am making party! Push am red eye man off cliff of abomoinable fates of thousand winds for vengeance of toilet hell.
Easter Bunny am chasing Mao down for am stealing easter chicken when iconoclasm for bunny not lay egg. Cataclysming of am holidays beginsings for super bad evil holiday man. Needing Lunk Man to am seeing wizard of rain to am rain on parades forever.
Mao Tse-tung
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Dear Mao,
It's great to see that you're back, and already in need of assistance from Link. You have no idea how happy it makes me to see that old times are back again.
Yeah..happy happy. *gets an umbrella and some paperclips* For some odd reason I think I'll need these to help them.
Zelda and Link
Dear Zelda,
SHADOWAXE HAS GONE INSANE!!! Me And Vaati have been tring to stop him and Hector and DL but they wont die! THERE ALL OUT TO GET YOU! Im warning you again, There all out to get you! DL is talking about some Picture where you were handcuffed. So then I went insane and attacked like a wild animal. Shadow and Hector want to hurt you though, So Vaati and I are extending a temporary peace treaty to Link. Please aceppt Link! And, PLEASE POST THIS ONE!
From, Young Link/Oni Link
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Dear Young Link,
A pleasure to see the younger version of Link has made it to the world of "ask Zelda". Though I do say you're probably confusing a lot of people reading this because of the forums. For those who don't understand, DL is Dark Link. You can only imagine what problems he gets us all into. And since you've last known Vaati to be evil, he's now good. Go figure? Anyway, a peace treaty? You can only hope that peace could be settled in Hyrule. Though I doubt ShadowAxe is one to be afraid of.
I haven't even been at the forums to even know who's good or bad anymore. Oy so confusing. But I accept whatever treaty this is. I just need to keep the Princess out of danger.
Zelda and Link
Link and Roy
Alright I said it on the boards...I'll say it here: I'm sorry for hitting on Zelda *cough*infrontofyou*cough*
Roy, sorry for calling you a fag and such. I won't say any more...things about you and we'll completly ignore each other on the boards AS LONG as you take off that idiotic picture of what you claim to be "me"
Zelda, sorry for kissing you right in the middle of an E-mail
Saria and Marth, you two are cool and I would never say anything bad about you guys
Ganondorf, I have no apology for you and don't think I'll ever need there to be...
Who forgives me?
Sincerest apologizes:
Huro Miriel
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Huro,
You better damn well BETTER be sorry for doing that to the Princess! If I was there...I woulda...ooh!
Excuse him today, Huro. He's had too much Zorian ale, he'll be better tomorrow...after the hangover.
I take nothing back. I never have mistakes! Everything that is me is perfection! Everything I post and show under my name is gold!
Excuse him as well. I think they were at the same party.
*slaps her forehead*
Aww, why thank you, Huro! I won't say anything bad about you, either. ... So far.
Good, because I wasn't done plotting your ever painful death.
Zelda Marth Roy Ganondorf Saria and Link
Dear Saria,
Wait, What? I Grow up to be a moron? I read the Message that started with 'Now THEREs a nice big can of worms to open' . I DONT WANNA END UP LIKE THAT! HELP ME! (Sorry, But you grow up to be like that.) AHH!!! NOW ONI IS TALKING IN MY HEAD! HELP ME!!! * Grabs Sarias foot* HELP!!
Sincerly, Young Link \ Oni-Link
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Dear Young Link,
I'm sorry to say that Oni Link is right: you DO grow up like that. It's not because you're a moron (per se), it's not because of your destiny, and it's not even because of Ganon. It's because of one thing: You're a guy. You grow up to be a guy. And guys tend to do a lot of stupid things. But cheer up! I'm sure it won't be so bad. Remember, it's ME that's miserable when you grow up, not you! Still, if you really wish to avoid this future, I suggest either a sex change or being gay. However, should you try either method, you won't still be able to get away with scratching your deku nuts in public. Good luck!
~Saria
Dear Zelda,
One potato, two potato, three potato, four! Five potato, six potato, seven potato, more!
Marth: Why are you making Roy get banned? Huh, huh? Why you so evil? Huh, Huh? (By the way evil is sexy. :P)
Link: Why on the boards is their you, dark link, young link, oni link... WHY SO MANY YOU??
Love Malonaria
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Dear Malonaria,
...I always get something I can't answer.
Clearly there's so many me's is because I'm so dead sexy. Everyone wants to be me so badly that they'll immitate all of these people who clearly aren't me. But yes, let them bask in the glory that is me. Let them have a taste of how awesome I clearly am.
He's starting to sound more like Roy everyday.
I always get Roy banned because he deserves it. And he never got banned for the crap he pulled back at my site. So this is time for revenge. It's sexy, eh? Well I -am- a sexy beast.
Marth is infected too!
Zelda Marth and Link
Dear Zelda,
I apologize for not being around the office, the castle, whatever lately. I've been out and about trying to win the fishing tournament over in lake Hylia. Normally there would be protests by the Zoras, but the rules this year are to let the fish go. Well, except for the winning fish. He gets stuck in a huge glass case. (much bigger than sparky, my record-breaking fish got) Man! There's some world-class catchers over there, you know that? Darunia for one. He practically melds himself with the rocks so he's not seen and sneaks up on fish. Then you got Ruto who tames the fish and lures them to her. She's so cheap. I myself did pretty good in the tournament. I caught a 30 pound fish! Though it was only third place to Darunia and Mido of all people. Who thought he could fish? I guess maybe standing by that pool that lead to Zora's domain gave him something to do? Who knows. Regardless, I'll be back at the castle soon enough. We're having a huge fish fr-...I mean we're going to have a nice dinner in celebration.
Link
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Dear Link,
Nice to see that you're getting out and doing things for yourself, Link. I'm quite proud of you to get third place. Darunia is a mean fisherman. I've known him for ages and he's always used the sneak up and grab technique. Mido on the other hand has always been fishy, obviously now in more ways than one. I do hope to see you soon at the castle. The other servants have missed seeing you in the halls.
Zelda
Dear Zelda,
What school did you go to?
Manic
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Dear Manic,
A good question indeed. I went to the Hyrule all-girl's school for higher learning. (HAGSHL) Yeah...I didn't like the letters for it either. "What school did you go to?"..."I went to hagsil" Sounds bad, doesn't it? Anyway, it's a school designed for those who are going to be up the social and political/monarch/governmental ladder. Ruto was there with me, of course. It's where we became fast friends. Darunia was offered a position there to teach, but he ended up declining for who knows what reason. I think Link tried to get in when he was young too. Considering that he was going to be the Hero of Time. But he was turned down, unfortunately. He ended up going to Hyrule High. Somewhere I wanted to go so badly, but Father insisted I stayed where I was. *sighs* Our mascot is a Triforce, go figure? How big and bad we are!
GO HAGSHL TRIFORCES!!! *school song*
Zelda
Dear People,
Saria: Has anyone every told you that your quite pretty? Also what Is your true age? Because Link said that you could probably be older than Zelda.
Roy: Acco and I have been shopping for you! Guess what we got you?!
Marth: Are you ditching Acco? I mean she's the only one that actually, probably stills likes you anymore, and you could miss that once in a lifetime chance. *winks*
Zelda: Now that most people are becoming evil... do you think the girls will turn to evil aswell? Or do you think that we will remain pure hearted beauty's?
Link: I don't understand why everyone is so huffy and puffy around you. I mean, everybody wants to fight you! Or maybe they only want to because deep down Zelda really likes you?
Love Malonaria ^_~
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Dear Malonaria,
Aww, thanks so much for the compliment! I always appreciate kind words. As for my age...... ... Y'know, that's a good question. *scratches her head* Wow. When you live with the Great Deku Tree, time just sort of flies. ... What year IS it, anyway?
I think the females will rein pure and true and stay off the path of which is evil. So no worries there. Let the thick-headed males do that job.
I dunno, I think Ruto's -already- on the dark side.
YOU'RE GOING DOWN MARTH! FOR I AM ONI-LINK! *red flashing eyes*
Me ditch Acco? I never ditched her! She's the one that got mad at me for I don't even know why!!
...*eyes Link* You are mistaken, friend- I mean fiend! For I am...evil...Marth? *evil looking pose, with a DARK red stone in his tiara*
...
*rolls her eyes*
ARRRGGGHH!!!! *rushes at Marth with twin blades*
*dodges?!*
...wait! Zelda really likes me?! SHE DOES??? *goes back to his normal self*
...
*slaps her forehead*
Morons
Zelda Marth Roy Saria and Link
Zelda,
You say your sign is Aries. So I was bored one day and decided to look at my horoscopes (not something I do often). Do these things really apply to you?
Time is slipping through your fingers, Aries! Where does it go? There are so many things you were hoping to accomplish this week, but before you manage to get around to anything, the day is half over. You need to give yourself a schedule. Make a list and stick to it!
Huro Miriel
P.S. Whats everyone elses sign?
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Dear Huro,
Oh it applies to me rather well, I'd think. I've been so busy lately with all these things going on. Apparently there was a big controversy about the fishing tournament that turned into a fish fry. Ruto was absolutely -steamed- about that. You'd think their society wouldn't be so angry about fish dying when they sacrifice a fish to Lord Jabu Jabu on a daily basis. *shrugs lightly* Regardless, I've had to deal with that. I just can't seem to gain my time back anymore! I believe that Link is a Gemini. While Marth and Roy weirdly enough are both Virgos. (Born around the same time?) Then you have Ganondorf who was born in December...that makes him a Saggitarius. Then you got Saria. I think she's an aquarius. But I could be wrong.
Zelda
Dear Roy;
I'll have you know that I am your absoulute BIGGEST Fan. Why else would I have your name in mine? Don't hate me for this but Marth isn't really all that bad. And if Link isn't your best friend and you hate Guin you aren't the Roy I know and love. So straighten up or I'll tell all your fans that you aren't worth acknowledging.
- Royfan
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Loyal fan,
Link -can- be my best friend at times. I practically raised him since he was young and acting like a little shit around the castle. He has a lot to learn from me. Especially how I handle my sword if you know what I mean...ladies. *winks* I don't hate Marth as much as I put on. I just can't stand the fact that he makes Fire Emblem look so...metrosexual. He's got to be -the- biggest metrosexual I've ever met in my life. Let alone in the gaming world. I mean the guy uses sparkles...SPARKLES with his attacks. And the tiara? C'mon now...he's just begging to be mocked, here. I appreciate your email, though. Send many more. Don't be shy ladies.
Roy
Dear Zelda
What's your favorite movie?
Manic
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Dear Manic,
I have a love for almost all movies it seems. But I do say that my favorites have to be "Pretty Hylian". I mean it's such a sappy love story. Link actually likes the movie "What lies above". It's a horror movie involving the wall climbers that come and get you in temples. They scare the heck out of him.
DIN especially when they split into three. I scream like a little girl everytime they do that. Thank heavens for my trusty Din's fire. *shivers*
Zelda and Link
Dear Link,
As you know, I am running against that wuss, Zealototh for High Councilman of Earth. However, before I came onto the scene, we were as spineless, weak, and pathetic as the last region, But I will give us all a spine, the backbopne we have needed for so long.
With me in power, the world will be at out fingertips. Nothing will be unreachable from our grasp, and as the world decays around us, we will prosper. I prosise that all that oppose us will be ground intodust, and a new era of strength and superiority will ensue.We will prosper.
If you vote for me, I will add the backbone we have needed, I will keep us from sinking into the filth that has mired the rest of our plane, I will usher in a new age of of wonder! Vote for me!
Sicko Sammy
PS Zelda's an inbred!
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Dear Sicky Sammy,
...are you evil? Look, just give me your card. Gosh! Why do villians try to hide their being evil all the time?! It makes it so hard for me to vanquish them!! *whines*
Link
Dear Roy,
I have heard that you think you are not related to a certain person whos name I shall not say but will say starts with a M. Well, pull out your shot gun because you are. In fact, if I'm not mistaken, she...er, he is your great-aunt...er, uncle or something of the like. Yes. Have a nice day. :)
Love, Acco(The Kenshin obsessed girl)
Note: I could be totally wrong. I remember reading something about, but it was a way long time ago in the beginning of life as we know it.
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Dear Acco,
I figured the twistes of fate would relate me to him. It's a good thing he's only an Uncle or something. At least he's not a brother. I could end up looking like him or something.
Roy
Dear Zelda,
Zelda...what do you do when your bored, locked in towers?
JukaZi
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Dear JukaZi,
I guess it's time to reveal the truth, aye? Well Ganondorf isn't as mean of a man as you'd think he was. He was actually quite nice to me while he held me captive. We played card games, pin the tail on the donkey, scrabble, twister. You name a board game and we played it. I do say though, I kicked his Triforce in checkers dozens of times. Other than that, we just talked. I told him about how Link has done this and this to save Hyrule. And he kept talking about how much of an idiot he was, etc. It was quite a fun time. I look forward to getting captured again soon in the future.
Zelda
Dear Zelda,
Start giving me ALL of my mail, dammit.
~Saria
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Dear Saria,
Sincere apologies, Saria. I'll make sure to get the postman's ass on it better next time.
Zelda
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