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Dear Princess Zelda,
I am new to posting in this section, I was planning to for a while, after I got finished reading ALL the questions you posted here. And I just did! But I read from back to front, so it was kind of confusing. I have some questions for you and your friends... Zelda- Do you get tired of all the sick jokes that get e-mailed to you? How can you understand Mao? I mean, I kind of can, but you seem like you understand everything! Wow, I'm impressed! Link-Why did you just run away from Saria after she gave you her ocarina in Ocarina of Time? Saria- Did you think it rude when he just ran away without saying "Thank You" or anything? Ganondorf- Do you think at one point in time you will eventually hit a midlife crisis and decide to do something worthwhile with your life? Or is trying to rule the world worthwhile enough? Marth- Will you eventually get a new tiara? Or something like a jewel imbedded cap? I mean, your current tiara is shiny... and pretty... and sparkly...sorry. But just think... millions of tiaras at your disposal! Roy- Why don't you think before you speak..er..type? Is it worth cussing once and a while to just get suspended again?
Thank you for your time, Adrianna Rose
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Dear Adrianna,
"Get tired of it" is SUCH an understatement. You have no idea what I have to weed through on a weekly basis! It's disgustingly horrid. Especially when the questions involve Link.
HEY!
As for understanding Mao..I pretty much just wing it. Take things into context, etc. It's all I really can do.
Why did I run away? Well to tell you the truth I had been cooking up a really really rotten fart. And I just couldn't do that in front of Saria. Even if she -is- my best friend.
That is absolutely disgusting, Link. Yes I was sorta wondering if there was a "thankyou" somewhere in there. However, judging by the look on his face, I felt he needed to escape right away. (I knew he was going to fart, he's not kidding anyone)
MAN was it rotten too!
...that's repulsive.
Don't you think that ruling the world IS something worth dedicating your life to? Or do you really think that a mundane 9-5 is -really- the meaning of life?
I know I have the money to buy as many tiaras as I please. However, this one is a personal favorite. It's got sentimental value. And I also believe it to be lucky. Simple as that.
Zelda Saria Ganondorf Marth and Link (why do I always get put in last?)
Hey zelda
You remember this don’t you it was a poorley drawn photo of me and you well computer skills from this dude that came to your palice and saw us in your Room.
Love the sexy beast marth
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Dear "Marth",
Wow uh...after several minutes of trying to figure out what exactly you're trying to say, I have to say this.
Who are you, and what have you done with Marth?
Zelda
Dear Zelda and Dark Link (f you're there),
I'm not sure if my e-mail got through last update, so I'm sending another one just in case.
Have you ever been to HistoryofHyrule.com before it shut down? I'm happy to say I'm getting a doujinshi it had. I found it on an eBay store for a grand total of $45. Have you read either Love Navigation doujinshi (or stared at the sheer prettiness of the art)?
Dark Link: What is your natural skin and hair color? I have seen you with skin of all shades and light and dark hair. I've always imagined you as dark skin and black hair like my friend Marto.
Brenda
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Dear Brenda,
Can't say I have seen it. Though now I'm interested in reading it. $45? Seems kinda stiff for a book, but I guess it's worth it, huh? Must be rare. And have gorgeous pictures of moi.
If it doesn't have Zelda in a thong and sexy bra, it's not worth looking at. (Hah, I've developed my own character color. And it has a 666 in it!) My natural skin is of course the opposite of that blonde twit, which would be a dark brown. But since I'm all into black and everything, when I'm feeling it, I'll dye my hair black to match my black tunic. My natural skin color is pretty pale. I live at the bottom of the water temple all the time. What do you expect? I don't get to see sunlight that often.
Zelda and Dark Link
Guess what?
...
I HAVE A GIRLFRIEND. AND I HAVE FOR 6 MONTHS. BUT I FIGURED I SHOULD TELL YOU NOW. =D
~Young Link
I came, I saw, I couquered. - Caeser Playing- Rome, Total War. (w00t! GO ROMANS)
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Dear Young Link,
And so starts the reign of many girlfriends to come. Link has become such a player over the years.
Hey!
Zelda and Link
Hi Zelda,
I've been meaning to write to you forever, but I've held off so I don't ask any repeat questions. The side effect of this is that now I can't remember what I was going to ask originally :-)
Well, if nothing else, I found a short clip from a song that is perfect for Roy. You guys can listen to it at this web address: http://www.greatbigsea.com/themusic/audio/turn1.mp3 What do you think? I'd have sent you the whole song if I had a copy of it, but this is all I could find. The band is called Great Big Sea. And better yet, they are from Atlantic Canada. I say this because I am also from Canada, so for some strange reason a band coming from here is "better". I hadn't heard of them though, until I heard them on the radio about a month ago, but I love all the songs they put out on radio (now that I pay attention I hear more)!
So on to some questions I'll make up right now. Let's see... Do you (or Sarah) post every letter you receive in the Ask Zelda section of your website, or just the outstanding ones? Do you actually reply to the letters, or just post the replies on in the Ask Zelda section? I guess I'll find the answer to that without you even saying anything.
Hey Link, I was playing Smash Brothers Melee the other day, and after owning it for nearly a year I finally discovered that you have a second smash attack that can be performed by pressing the A button again right after the first smash attack is finished. That was so cool. And your younger self can do it too, which finally answers my question: "why put in a smash attack that doesn't send people flying any distance AND allows the victim to recover and hit you faster than you recover from swinging?" So do you have any other tricks up your sleeve?
Finally, I just want to tell Sarah she is doing an awesome job, and keep up the good work! I was elated to see that the updates had started coming again.
Tony
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Dear Tony,
Glad to see that you finally got the courage to ask some questions. And no, I answer them and then Sarah transfers them to a page and such. So you won't be receiving an email in return. But hey...at least it's forever burned on a website somewhere? As for that song..haha that's perfect for Roy. If only he could say everything on his mind...
If I got to do that, I would get to say how much of a snobby bit-
[Webmistress note: Roy has been suspended for the next five days. And thank you for the compliments, Tony. I've been kinda putting it in overdrive keeping up with everything. So yes, it's been real fun..and apparently rewarding to hear you say stuff like that. :3]
Tricks up my sleeve? Never. Frankly I still haven't figured out where those bombs come from. I mean I can throw so many unlimited! I guess that's the glory of being who I am. Things just magically appear in my hand like that.
Zelda and Link
Dear Zelda,
I was listening to a local country station while radio channel surfing, and the line "Honky-tonk badonk a donk" came up. Any idea what the hell this means?
Armageddon Kitten
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Dear Armageddon Kitten,
I would assume it means something like shaking your booty to country music. But I could be wrong.
Zelda only learned that cause Roy said she had a "badonk a donk".
...
Zelda and Link
Dear Link,
Just recently I've had a very dear friend of mine whom I thought was close to me forget my own birthday. I was just wondering if Zelda has ever done the same to you.
Signed, A very sad lizard
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Dear sad lizard,
Yes, actually. That's happened to me lots of times. And let me tell you, it sucks horribly. Nothing is worse than having something so special to you forgotten just like that.
Dude, you forget my birthday all the time. Yet somehow your younger self manages to remember every year. He even gives me a whole bouquet of roses!
...I dig older women?
*slaps her forehead*
Zelda and Link
Dear Zelda,
Lets hypothetically say I had a killer toxic waste llama whose babies spit fire lived in a flying saucer with a barn on top of it in termina. How would I get all the llama fallout out of my kitchen sink and toilet without melting my face or intestine. This is of dire importance.
Sicko Sammy
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Dear Sicko Sammy,
Rubber gloves. That or hire a goon to do it for you.
You called, Zelda?
Yeah...the cucco hut is getting a little...toxic. I need you to take care of the situation. *clap clap*
...
Zelda and Link
Just a few questions I'd been wanting to know...
Zelda- How in the world do you remain so skinny? Any tips? oh and Link... Link- Who did you like better, Tetra or Zelda? Oh, and were you bummed when you found out who Sheik was?
-fatty?
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Dear fatty,
I remain skinny because I'm worked at a daily basis, obviously. Constantly being run off, captured, starved by Ganondorf. (he's a terrible host) So yeah, I keep quite the trim figure from that alone. That and just running around in stress over helping my father rule the kingdom.
It's really a tossup. I kinda liked Tetra's saucy nature. But Zelda's frail beauty is one to be admired as well. As for finding out who Sheik was? No, I wasn't freaked out. Actually relieved, cause Sheik had hit on me so freaking much.
...
Zelda and Link
To um… dumb ass [marth]
DUMB ASS!
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My word,
Watch your mouth.
Marth
dear roy,
last night was awsome i have never had so much fun. you left your..um well nevermind i think i will keep this one. the dice we used helped alot
-anominous (roy knows who ;))
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Yeah baby,
I know it was one wild night. I'm just too hot to handle sometimes. Call ya later.
...God that's so disturbing.
Marth and Roy
Dear Zelda,
Have you ever gone yodeling?
Singing, Dancing, Yodeling, Yokel
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Dear Yokel,
I can't say I have, though I guess if I wanna take up some lessons...the Happy Mask Shop owner would gladly give me some style.
Zelda
Dear Zelda and/or Link,
Whatever happened to Sashrala, the old man that gave Link advice in "Link to the Past"? I haven't seen him since, so I don't know where the heck he went. So tell me, where is the guy?
Duff McWalen
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Dear Duff,
...What? You don't think video game characters escape the old folks home? That's where he is.
Zelda
Dear Zelda,
What is your favorite meat? My guess would be chicken, since those buggers are all over Hyrule, but I want to be sure.
Yours truly,
Destiny Chef Meat on a Sword Restaurant Meat Island
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Dear Destiny Chef,
You'd be right on the money in that regard. I keep tons of places to store cuccos. Anju really taught Link well. He's the best cucco wrangler I've ever met.
I'm so used for my talents.
Zelda and Link
Everyone, (AND I MEAN EVERYONE!)
Well, you haven't been coming on to the forum, so you know what that means... *Douses all their room with gasoline*
*Lights them all on fire* NEXT IT'S GOING TO BE YOUR HOUSES, THEN YOUR INNARDS!
Sinserist Regards, Huro, the elf who invented the bookcase
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Dear Huro,
Quite the violent one you are, aren't you...
BOOYAH! GORON TUNIC, BITCH. CAN'T TOUCH THIS STUFF.
...Moron. And shut up, Monkey. I don't want to stoop low enough to grace my presence there and make you out to be an idiot again.
Look at this...guest appearance. Fuck off, long ears.
What was the link to the forums again? I don't want my hair singed.
Zelda Marth Roy Ganondorf and Link
Dear Zelda and friends,
I just wanna say you all are AWESOME! Zelda your are awesome!!!!!!!!!! I LUV YOU MARTH, ROY, and LINK!!!!!!!!!!!!! *hugs all* Other than my comment I wanted to ask you all some things
1) How do you feel about the new Super Smash Bros game coming out? 2) Do you guys have any part time jobs other than being heroes? 3) What was you worst embarrassing moment? 4) Who's the laziest? 5) Do the boys fight about who's more sexy?
Those are the only question I'll ask for now! YOU HAVEN'T SEEN THE LAST OF ME!!!! ^_____^
Farewell! Zelda the dogdemon (Inuyasha's sister)
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Dear Zelda,
Feels weird typing that...hehe. Thanks for the compliments! I'm sure the others greatly appreciate it too. As for your questions...
I'll just skip right down to the bottom. I'm the sexiest, it's just proven that way.
I always thought that Marth was the sexiest. WAIT WHAT AM I SAYING?!?!?!
Look who the fag is now.
I -am- the sexiest. Hell my avatars even say "sexy beast". No one else can beat me.
I do have to agree with Marth. He is the sexiest.
WHAT?!
And Roy is the laziest.
I OBJECT!!
Yeah, definitely the laziest.
HEY! I even said you were the sexiest! *grumbles*
As for their part-time jobs...this is it.
Zelda Marth Roy Ganondorf and Link
Hey Zelda,
I saw you and Roy at the Kings ball last night. It looks like your feeling a little to sorry for him. I'm just sayin' but if your going to get a room lock the door. As for you Link, I'm looking forward to tonight!
LUV, Seductive the traveling hooker
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Dear hooker,
I have to agree, that was a pretty hot night. Zelda's not too bad in the sack.
You sick FREAK. I'd NEVER get with you!
Hey...do you think that's why she knows so much about his sleeping habits?
...
Link! You should KNOW better!
Women can't resist me.
Zelda Roy and Link
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