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Dear Zelda,
What's your bra size? Mine's C cup!
Fara
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Dear Fara,
Whether I want to disclose that or not, I'm not sure. Let's just say I'm no A and I'm no C *nods triumphantly*
Zelda
Dear Zelda,
There's this wonderful girl I know, I love her, I really do. But sometimes I get mad, I have some anger issues I know, and I say mean things I don't mean. She hates me right now, so I don't know what to do about it. I wish I could just SHOW her how I feel about her, show her that everything is real, but I don't know if she'll listen to me. Please help.
Wyatt
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Dear Wyatt,
I'm sure if you've gotten to the point of loving her..and she didn't run from you then, that she obviously cares about you as well. Sure people say mean stuff when they're mad all the time. But people cool down. Some just take longer than others. Give her a day or three, and I'm sure she'll come around. If she hasn't left your side yet because of the fact you love her, I'm sure she's going to stick around so you can prove to her about how you feel and that you're real. In fact, I think that's probably what she wants you to do. Females are weird like that. I wish you the best of luck, I'm sure you won't be needing much, Wyatt.
Zelda
Dear Zelda,
I say peom of lucky joy to fill hearts with locusts and gypsies! Here goes!
Australian kangaroo jump on furniture. Leave house with lawn mower. Sad Cows and Emus.
You like? Me am happy you am at spider woman and and squeaky frog's lair! Lumpy cat say 'meow' so what lumpy duck say? In my home, cones evict super fiery hot magma, so lady ONE question and handshake man must leave banzai.
Mao Tse-tung
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Dear Mao Mao,
....
I think I'm going to eventually invest in a translator for us, Mao.
Zelda
Dear Zelda,
Me am happy to write to your again! Me want know if Lunk man ever ride on unicorn and jab nostril into tree like flying hippo? The hippo groes super wonderful wings to combat and crush evil nasty condor! Dumb bird eat dead rat and sewrgage pipe in evil forest of evil doom! Need Lunk Man's help to dispel curse of Condor! Not as Happy Zap of violent breakage wonderful!
Mao Tse-tung
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Dear Mao,
I'll send Link right on it. I'm sure he'll be pleased to know he'll be going on an adventure.
...
He's always thrilled to help the young ones in need. Especially with curses. Like the time he free'd all the Zora's from the frozen curse. Or...he drove away Ganondorf, that's a big curse. I'm sure he won't mind at all.
...
Besides, it's just a Condor. How bad could it really be? You've taken on FAR worse!
...
Zelda and ...
zelda,
you'd better watch your back
a friend...
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Dear..friend?
Watch my back? Now I'm getting death threats..? This can't be good...
Zelda
Dear Zelda and webmistress,
Zelda: On page 6 of the "Ask Zelda" section, you put "Females are weird like that." Why? You are a female too! Dont you think that give us girls a bad image if we say we are weird? I do.
Sarah: At what time do you update the "Ask Zelda" section? And do you do that dally or weekly?
Me be a MOO cow.
Love, Acco ( The Kenshin obsessed girl. MOO)
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Dear Acco,
But isn't it true that they can be? Girls can be. And so can guys. A lot more than girls if you ask me. They're so obsessive about their manliness and thinking they're everything that Din could ever want them to be. Thinking that just because they're the hero that suddenly they think the whole entire game should be named after them! Thinking that they deserve a reward for being the chosen one to hold the sword of evil's bane!
I think someone has some deep feelings about a guuuuuuuy.
[Wemistress Note: I don't really have a specific time that I update the site. I normally keep yahoo open and in the evenings or so I check my email for "ask Zelda" and such. But generally sometimes during the day you can catch me. Zelda, your blush is showing.]
Zelda and Link
Zelda,
P.S. Has Ganondorf ever touched your ass? I think he likes you, and thats why he always kidnaps you.
Love, Acco (The Kenshin obsessed girl)
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Dear Acco,
I don't think he's ever touched my ass. At least not during the times that I was concious enough to notice this. I don't know his feelings towards me either. I always assumed he just kidnapped for fun.
Dear Whomever,
As the mighty king of all evil, and the hand that casts a dark cloud over Hyrule ...of course I've touched Zelda's ass. I am a mastermind of pure evil ...after all. Don't EVER take me for anything less! *Hmph's.*
The Criminal Projective, Ganondorf
Zelda
Dear Zelda,
Hello aging. You and Marth will marrie and have many children. I have forseen it! IT WILL HAPPEN! HAHAHAHAHA! *Cough* Yes, well. My computer is messed up. Could you send a new computer? Please? Please? PLEASE? Have you ever seen Chin2? It is funny. I like Kenshin. Do you like Kenshin? I also Like Trigun, Inuyasha and Cowboy Bebop. You are sexy. Marth is sexy. You two belong together. Your kids will be sexy. What will you call your two kingdoms when you marrie Marth?
Marth said he would name one of your kids after me, since I have been such a loyal fan to him. Could you name your first kid after me? Link will die unmarried man. I have seen that too. He will date the stupid farm girl, then she will cheat on him and he will never marrie or date aging. Yes. I am a cow. Not really. Am I abusing the "Ask Zelda" section? If I am, good.
Love, Acco (the Kenshin obsessed girl)
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Dear Acco,
I think you're starting to tally up the same amount of emails as Mao does, Acco. Which is good! I haven't planned on taking Marth's hand in marriage. We haven't even talked about it! Nor do I even look at him in that kind of light! I don't know if I can send you a computer. My funds have been low lately due to the construction going on Death Mountain and their blasted roads. I haven't seen Chin2 Nor have I really gotten into Kenshin. I have, however watched Trigun, Inuyasha, and Cowboy Bebop. Though I'd have to graciously say that my favorite is Trigun. Vash is sexy in sooo many ways...*drools*
*coughs lightly* Dear Princess. If we did happen to get married, I'm sure that we'll name the handsom kingdom as Marthville. I've always liked the sound of that. Also, our first child will be named after Acco, I did promise her this. If you so agree of course. I laugh at the thought of Link being a lonely soul in Hyrule. Especially since he does all the saving. All that work paid off for nothing. Poor soul. I didn't think he intended on marriage to you anyway, let alone of the female kind. *coughs yet again* I like Inuyasha. Can't diss a man..er demon man that uses a sword.
...
You people are sick freaks. How DARE you say I'd date Malon!
Zelda Marth and Link
Dear Zelda,
If Link isn't your boyfriend, then who is?
Edwardo Gustavone
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Dear Edwardo,
Wouldn't you like to know? Actually, I don't have a current love. I haven't really had the time to think of romance, being far too busy to rule a kingdom with my father, mind you. I have several princes come to my drawbridge everyday wanting to ask my hand in marriage. It's rather aggrivating if you ask me.
Are you coming onto me?
Zelda
Dear Zelda,
Curse of Condor am gone eternally forever! Me am must want thank Lunk man for help and-- BUNNIES!!!!!!!!!!! Lumpy cat chase run after floppy bunny of ancient doom! Big Blue Q. Me am wanting biger red A. Would You am go on Fear factor to jump out of fly window of deadly truth, and eat bugs? Would Lunk man?
Mao Tse-tung
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Dear Mao,
Well I'm glad that the curse has vanquished. And I'm sure Link is pretty happy for this as well. ...I don't know how I feel about bunnies.
Don't even ask about the bunnies. *coughs*
I've seen a few of those fear factor shows. Quite frankly, I think those people are nuts. I would never do that for such an amount of wealth.
You have an amount of wealth though. You'd be crazy to do it for more money. I however-
sick...
Zelda and Link
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