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Dear Zelda,
What's your favorite sport in Hyrule? And do you enjoy playing it?
Lord Elementary R1 v 6.2.3 ex + Alpha
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Dear something....Alpha,
This a no-brainer. I thought everyone in the kingdom knew that the very Princess of Hyrule loved bombchu bowling. I'm a pro at it. And of COURSE I love playing it! No one has yet to beat my record either. And if they do, OFF WITH THEIR HEADS!
....
Zelda and Link
Dear Zelda,
MEN SUCK. Call me a feminist, cause I am one. I hate men. What good or useful thing have they ever done? Nothing, thats what.
My nose hurts. F**king Bob threw a rock at me for no reason and it hit me on the nose and nearly broke it!(Bob is a man.) That was at 5th hour. Then in S.S., we were talking about Hitler(MAN!) and the Holocaust, so that got me in a bad mood. Then in reading we were talking about Saddam(MAN!) so that made me wanta kill a bunch of ppl. Then all the f**king boys(MEN!) were making fun of me.;_; :( I hate men. >:[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[
I am a Monkey. And a MOO Cow. Me Be a MOO-Monkey. :) Todays question: Could you sick Ganondorf on all the boys who made fun of me? Please?
Love, Acco (The Kenshin obsessed girl)
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Dear Acco,
Yes it's true that men are pigs at times. Link is the biggest pig in the world if you ask me. Only saving me so he can have a place to stay in the castle. And expecting so much out of me and such. It's nuts really. Not to mention that our villian is a man, and the ONLY man in the Gerudo race. Which makes him king. Isn't that messed up? My father had to fight a war or two or five to become King of Hyrule. And Ganondorf merely gets it because he's the only male. What about the women?!
Excuuuse me, Princess. I'm not exactly the best-mannered hero in the world, but hey toots at least you got one right?
Point taken. Ganondorf is still a pig though...
...It's not wise to ask a man to beat up a man. Simply because he's, a man..I'M A MAN!
Zelda Ganondorf and Link
Dear Zelda,
Who has the biggest rack: You, Malon, Marrin(Did I spell that right?) or that chicken lady from that one city by death mountain? You don't have to answer this if you don't want to... I'm just curious...
Keeper of the 7 Winds
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Dear Wind keeper,
I'd have to say that it's clear that Malon has the biggest rack. But the real question should be, who has the biggest REAL rack. And that would have to be...me. *laughs* psst, Malon stuffs her bra!
Zelda
Dear Zelda,
Once I tore a dude's head off, dude! Well, then I stumbled across some killer catnip and I'm still pretty wasted. Dude, this is some killer catnip! Anyway, I went and pulled out some stupid gazzelle's lungs cuz he looked at me wierd. Well I ate a couple moths now and had some gazzelle liver after that. Dude, do gazzelles even live near me? Maybe it was a drunk buffalo. Man, I had the nip munchies, but I tell you what, I ate so much internals that day, I think I don't need to eat for another couple days, dude. Well, I went to the bar, and a drunk hot chick showed me all six of her boobies!!! Well, I got drunk and fell asleep, but I still had my good ol' nip. Well, I went out to the lost woods, and took more nip, and Saria came along doin some freaky dance with that I can''t spell it thingy. Is Saria still a kid, or is she growing up now, or something, because kids aren't up at 2 in the morning like I was with a bottle of booze in their hand. The nip was awesome and I got hungry again, so now I went off to the river to feed myself, but I was still kinda full, but was hungry too. I ate a castle guard and his pet dog. Well, I was still hungry, and I went to that I can't spell it Village and ate somebody, but I was stabed a couple times by some guard dude freak. I took the last of my nip, declared myself an official niphead, and fell asleep in a ditch. Zelda, can you help me find some more catnip? I'm so desperately addicted!
Senseerilly (Oh I can't spell it!) Official Niphead Bill the Tiger
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Dear Bill,
This apparently seems to be a big trouble for you. You seem to lose your mind once you get a hold of catnip, which isn't a good thing. This is no better than a violent drunk. You seem to be the type of the more...violent kind. You kill people and things when you get a hold of it. Is it out of anger? Frustration? Perhaps you just like the sight of blood? But regardless, you've been held accountable for a couple of murders in my kingdom. I guess since you have openly confessed that it was the catnip that did this, I should hold a trial for you. However, let's talk about your question. I do not know where catnip lies...
psst. Cat. I know where some is. And for real cheap I can get you a hit or two. There's a group of ally cats in the market place who would just -love- to meet your aquaintance.
Zelda and Ganondorf
Dear Zelda,
Hey Link, remember me? I'm the guy who beat you sensless with my rod! You were really tough, though. How come all you say is screaming at the top of your lungs?
Hi Zelda! You probably don't know me, but you might know my rod. I've smacked more people with it than I can remember. It used to be freakishly huge, but now it broke a couple times ... so I'm wondering... Do you like my rod?
Kilik
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Dear Kilik,
Yes I remember you! The legendary rod-smacker of the distant sea! Or at least that's what they call you. Yes, I've had a number of complaints of broken arms and bruises and bumps on the head. And they all told me it was because of some "guy with a rod". I don't know if I can say if I like your rod or not, considering the evil crimes that you've done with it. But I do say that your rod-smacking is quite impressive. Would you like to visit the castle sometime?
...
That punk hit my ankle with a rod. He's lucky I was a mere beginner magician, or I would have turned his stupid rod-beating ass into a toad.
OH HELL NO! I know you! You beat me in the head with a fuggin' rod! I swear by Nayru if I ever get a hold of you again, I'm severely messing you up kid!
Zelda Gannondorf and Link
Dear Zelda,
Short message this am time. Me am want is no if Zelda have has have ever lumpy cat and sqeaky frog! Me no if Zelda ever lumpy cat and sqeaky frog! Has Zelda's hamster every chewing through extension cord? Lumpy cat lose one lump! Great misfortune befall that who that who eat creamed corn. That is the profecy of Lumpy cat. Every hamster chew in extension cord?
Mao Tse-Tung
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Dear Mao,
I find that marvelous that your cat has lost a lump. Hopefully that's a great thing. And I'm not so sure on how I feel about your cat becoming your prophet. That's almost scary. And yes we've had mice and other rodents chew through our electric cords, and it's quite a bother. We end up asking for Link to play the piped piper and tend to them every once in a while. He always looks so thrilled when it happens too.
I'll be sure to stay away from creamed corn as well. I'm not much of a fan of it anyway.
Zelda
Dear Zelda,
I have compiled a list of questions for you. Here it is.
1.Why do you like Pink so much? 2. What the hell is my problem? 3. Is Link high in Soul Caliber 2? He acts like it. 4. Isn't Marth the sexiest beast you've ever seen? 5. Isn't Kenshin the coolest person ever?(You better say yes, or Hyrule will be one princesses less.) 6. Do you like pie? 7. Where the hell is my new computer that you said you would get me? I want it NOW! 8. How many kids you and Marth gonna have? 9. MOO or dirty homos? 10. Can you buy me a Kimono? 11. What time is it? 12. Am I annoying you? 13. Will you buy me a sword? 14. Can I borrow Marth for the night? ;) 15. WE? 16. Monkeys? 17. Dish or cable? 18. Only two more questions? 19. Who do you think is sexier, Marth or Legolas? 20. Did you know my dogs names are Arthur and Pogo?
Ok, thats all I could come up with.
Love Acco (The Kenshin obsessed girl)
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Dear Acco,
Oh a nice little list to look off of for questions. This is quite lovely...
1. I love pink because it's a rather girly color and the fact that almost every dress I've worn has had pink in it...this making me grow fond of the color. 2. I have no idea what your problem is, maybe it's too much sugar before bed. 3. He really does look high. Maybe he had some of Mario's magic mushrooms. 4. He certainly is a sexy beast, but whether he's the sexiest thing I've ever seen, I'll have to pass. 5. Kenshin is an alright guy. I had the chance to meet him once, and we shared some quite interesting stories. 6. I LOVE pie! Give me a bit of whipped cream and pumpkin pie, and you got me in Heaven. 7. I told you that our funds are low because of Goron road construction!!! You'll get a new computer in time! 8. None 9. MOO I'd say... 10. Sure, just name a favorite color and favorite flower, and I'll have my tailor right on it. 11. It's currently 10:51pm 12. Yes you are. 13. No, I will not. I fear you with a sharp object. 14. That's completely up to him, if you ask me....SURE!
WHAT?!
15. No..I'm not into poly. *smirks* 16. I prefer apes. 17. Cable all the way. The dish ends up attracting more evil-doers. Ones of the UFO variety. 18. So it seems. 19. I'd say Legolas is. Everyone likes a man with a big bow. 20. No I didn't, but I know now, Acco.
Zelda and Marth
Dear Zelda,
The visit to your castle last week was quite charming. Yet again, you have marveled me in your sense of style and taste in the way you put your castle together. I was thinking of doing the same kind of design, you know..olden and historic. The servants were quite helpful to my every need to. And they had such bright and cheery faces. Is it in the water? I swear it must be because I've -never- seen such happy people. Maybe it's because they have such a marvelous ruler? *winks* Anyhow, I'm glad that I got to visit. The horseback riding through the lost woods was wondrous as well. Needless to say it made me learn to watch where I was going...After about the third tree. It was a lovely visit Zelda, and I hope to make another one very soon.
Yours truly, Marth
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Dear Marth,
I'm glad you found my castle to be quite the nice visit. I think it -is- something in the water, if not it's that new servant that I got a couple of weeks ago. He's quite the hard worker! Maybe he put something in the water aye? I tried to keep my castle up and to standard, especially when I have such visitors coming around. I was very amused at our horseback riding outting. It made me feel like I had been running for 2 miles when I broke into tears from laughter. But I do say, Marth, you managed to keep your hair unscathed. That takes a lot of talent, and I don't think your tiara went crooked once. How do you do it?! I do look forward to your next visit, though. Give me a letter when you plan to be arriving and I'll have things ready and set for you.
You need to visit here more damnit. I was out and about and I NEVER even saw you! *sighs* You need to tell me these things Marth! I had my tree stump in Kokiri all set up for you. A nice relaxing atmosphere, with candles and champaigne and-
.....
Zelda and Link
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